I will wait

14

TW: Depression, ED & SH please stop reading if any of these things can trigger you

Meredith wasn't doing very well. She barely talked to anyone except her family and Alex and had difficulties accepting the loss of her daughter

"Mer, you coming for breakfast?" Derek asked as he entered their room

"Not hungry" She mumbled

"Mer.." Derek took a seat on the bed

"Leave it" Meredith whispered and turned around

"Ellie wants to see you, is it okay if we come up a bit?" Derek placed his hand on her side

"Okay" She whispered and wiped some tears away

"I love you" Derek kissed her head and walked downstairs

Derek made his way downstairs where his daughter was playing in the playroom

"Hi monkey" Derek smiled as he walked in

"Daddy, look!" Ellie smiled "I made us as a family"

"Oh, it's beautiful" Derek smiled and kissed her head

"This is you and you're holding mommy's hand" Ellie-May explained "And here I am playing with our dog"

"Ellie, we don't have a dog" Derek laughed

"But I want a dog" She smiled "And this is sissy"

"That's sweet of you, Ellie" Derek pulled her in his arms

"Can I see mommy?" Ellis quietly asked

"Of course. Why don't you go up and I grab mommy some breakfast" Derek suggested but didn't even got a response, she just ran upstairs

"Mommy!" Ellie yelled as she jumped on the bed

"Hi baby" Meredith slowly sat up "I love you so much" She wrapped her arms around the little girl

"I love you too mommy" Ellie giggled "You're being silly, I know you love me"

Ellie-May laid down in Meredith's arms and Meredith started sobbing

"Mommy, are you okay? Do I need to get daddy?" Ellie asked

"No baby, you don't need to get daddy. I'm okay. Mommy's okay" Meredith whispered

"We love you mommy" Ellie whispered and kissed Meredith's cheek

Derek quietly walked into the room after he heard the small conversation between his daughter and wife

"Hi" He sat down next to Meredith

"Hi" She whispered back

"I made you a smoothie if you want" Derek placed it on her nightstand

"I'm not hungry, sorry" She whispered

Derek nodded and laid down next to her and Ellis as he wrapped his arms around them

...

Derek and Ellie were downstairs playing as Meredith needed to use the bathroom. She got up and slowly walked towards the bathroom where she relieved herself. As she was washing her hands, her attention went to the large mirror in the room. She walked towards it and clutched her stomach with her hands

She started to do sit-ups as she tried to lose the extra weight because of her pregnancy

She totally lost track of time and only realised it when Derek knocked on the door for the 3th time

"Mer, I'm gonna come in, I'm worried" Derek said

"I'm okay" She quickly replied

"Are you sure? Can you open the door for me?" He asked

Meredith slowly opened the door and started sobbing when she saw Derek

"Oh, Mer" He whispered and they started crying onto each other's shoulder

"I need Grace, I need our baby" She whispered

"We have to let go, Mer.. we have to" Derek sobbed

"I don't know if I want to" She admitted

"Please, for me and Ellie. We both need you with us" Derek begged

"I'm tired" She sighed and wrapped her arms tighter around the little girl sleeping against her

"Why don't we go to the yard for a bit? Getting some fresh air?" Derek suggested

"I don't know, Derek.."

"Maybe later. Why don't we all nap together?" He suggested instead and got a nod from Meredith in response

"Close your eyes, we're all here" Derek kissed her temple

"Thank you" She whispered

...

Ellie woke Derek up a while ago and told him she was hungry so they went downstairs and Derek started making some sandwiches

"I want chicken!" Ellie smiled

"Only chicken?" Derek asked her

"With cheese!" Ellie giggled

"Can you see if mommy wants something?" Derek asked his daughter. Ellie smiled and quickly skipping away towards her parents' room

"Mommy?" Ellie asked as she entered the room but didn't see her mother. She walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door but no one was in there as well so Ellie went downstairs again

"Daddy, where's mommy?" She frowned

"What do you mean Ellie-Bell?" Derek asked

"Mommy wasn't in the bedroom, also not in the bathroom" Ellie said and sat down at the table and started eating her sandwich

"I'll go look for mommy" Derek said and kissed the top of Ellis' hair

Derek made his way upstairs and heard whimpering coming out of the nursery. He opened the door and saw his wife on her knees, her arm bleeding as she was whimpering