A Court of Shorts and Storys

Midnight Snack

I think this should have a warning. Mentions/describes an eating disorder, negative view of one's body, and troublesome thoughts about one's body. If any of this is difficult for you, I ask you to proceed with caution, or skip it altogether. Take care!

One about Elain and how she copes with her visions, and Lucien finds her and they have a talk. 

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Darkness, it surrounded her, nipped at her toes and fingers. Threatening to consume her. And then a hand found her in the darkness, a friendly hand that slowly guided her back to the light. Like a sunrise in the morning. The hand started to glow like the sun, and Elain looked up towards the hands owner. And then the darkness was gone. The sunrise also. Instead she woke up, finding herself in her room at Feyre and Rhysand's river home.

The room had a pale pink colour on the walls, decorated with different flowers in clusters on the walls. Painted by Feyre of course. The curtains was a velvet dyed deep purple, and beyond them... Elain saw the dark sky behind them, it was night, but clouds hid the moon and stars. No light, it was just the darkness.

Elain got up, walking over to her desk and the bowl that she had there. The one she keep filed with the things she made in the kitchen. Cookies, candy, sweet bread, chocolates. Everything and anything that was edible. But now, the bowl was empty, and Elain froze. She always needed something after her dreams, it made her feal good again after... Maybe some of the cookies form the day before was left in the tin down in the kitchen. She grabbed her robe to cover herself as she left her room.

The robe had been a gift from Mor, and Elain loved it, she had even gone so far that she had taken to get altered to fit her. Three times had she done that. Last time, just this last week, the seamstress had told her that maybe, it was time to by a new one, that was bigger from the start. Elain had just left. Not fealing to comfortable with the implications of the semestres words. Sure she was bigger now then that first summer. Her brest more full, her ass like wise. Her tummy... It was soft and curved. She liked it. But she didn't like it when others was looking at her when she was out on the streets to by new clothes. She even liked the red marks that had shoved up on her skin over her belly and legs.

They made her think of Azriel, and the scars he had on his hands and body. Now she also had scar like marks, maybe... Elain stoped in the middle of the stairs. Maybe he would like her more if he knew about her sort of scars? She started to walk again, finding her way to the kitchen and the tin that hopefully held the cookies. Finding two left. Two was better then none. She started to eat them, slowly to make them last longer, making a note to make more cookies the next day, and maybe even that candy Nuala had shown her. The one where you needed to heat up the sugar and then pull it to make it change colour. Elain like those.

The two cookies was out, but she was not satisfied. She still couldn't go back to sleep, to the darkness. Elain started to move around in the kitchen, taking out pots and pans to make more cookies. And maybe even some of that sweet bread. Not the candy, she needed to ask Nulal for more details on that first. The cookie dough was finished and ready for backing, but the bread needed some time to rise. Elain sat down and started to eat from the bowl, taking small pices of the cookie dough to eat while she waited for the oven to be hot enough. The sun had still not started to rise, but the bread had, and now it was ready. She started to place out the balls of the dough on a tray, snatching one more bite before placing them in the oven to cook. The same with the bread. Then it was back to waiting... And more waiting. She took a pice of dried meat to chew on while she waited. It was not her favorite, but it made due for now.

It was like that, siting on a chair, eating a pice of dried meat, waiting for her cookies and bred to be done, Lucien found her. He didn't speak at first, just sat down at her side, acting like nothing. Elain sat still, al of the sudden fealing uncomfortable to be eating in front of him. She never felt ashamed over that before.