A Court of Shorts and Storys

Apologize

Before we begin: To personally feel that one must apologize, and having to apologize are two different things. Sometimes you may have to apologize for yourself even if the person you are talking to does not think you need to. 

In this headcannon Nesta apologizes for her behavior between WaR and SF.

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Nesta took a deep breath, hoping it would still her mind and calm down her rasing heartbeat. She knew what she needed to do now. She had talked to Elain, Feyre, Cassian, even Azriel and Armen. Mor too. She had started with Cassian, then Feyre. And as she continued on, things had become better, her heart had become lighter. She didn't feal that imaginary threat of someone hurting her or worse... That Nesta herself would hurt anyone. But there was one more she needed to talk to. One more before she could fully feal free. And he was behind the dark oak doors in front of her. She needed this to be formal, to be structured. And to be private. She raised her hand to the door, wondering if Rhysands already know that she is there. Then she knocked. Three times. Silence. For a second she panicked. Maybe he wasn't home, had Fayre told her about any traveling that she had forgotten about? But the door swung open, revealing the High Lord in his more formal attire.

"High Lord Rhysand... May I come in?" Nesta asked, receiving a questioning look back from him.

"Yes, of course." He said, leading the way inside of his office. "Is there anything special you need my help for Nesta? If it is ideas for gift for Cassian's birthday, I may not be of any help." a small shukel came from him as he talked.

"No... " She sat down, almost wishing for a glass with some alcohol now. It had been four years since the last time she had a drink. "I need to say that I am sorry." She then started, like she had done with everyone else.

"For my behavior the first time we meet. For how I continued to behave the first time here. For how I took advantage of your hospitality and money for such a long time. For how I hurt your reputation, and your court. For how I hurt you, I have already asked Feyre to forgive me for the things I did. But I will also ask you to forgive me for the things I did to her. I... I know I can be difficult to deal with sometimes. And I am truly and deeply sorry for that." She was done, and waited for his response. Rhysand shock his head.

"Nesta... You don't need to apologize, I forgave you a long time ago" He said back.

"But I still do, I... I need to for my own sake." She just needed him to accept it,

"In that case." Rhysand got up from his chair. "Then I should apologize for my own actions against you. I judged you without any merit, I didn't try to help you, and then was mad for how you acted. I wanted to kill you, I never asked you to forgive me for that." Nesta tried to argue. But didn't find any words. Everyone else had accepted her words, told her that they could move on. Mor had been a bit sceptical, but they had fund a way to work on it.

"But I... I did so much..." Nesta said. Rhysand let out a laugh.

"Do you know what I have done in my life? I have killed, tortured, manipulated and sedused fae for years. Working them all for my own benefits. And when some things are forgivable, or can be defended. Some can never be, and I will never go around and ask them for there forgiveness for I don't deserve it."

"And what do you mean by that?" Nesta asked back. Had her actions been to horrible for anyone to forgive?

"I am trying to say, I forgive you, for I know the feeling of thinking the things you have done is too awful to ever be forgiven, even if you believe it to be, or was in the right when it happened. And if you ask me to forgive you, I will ask you to forgive me. For that is the right thing to do." He gave her a soft smile. "And I know how hard it can be to take that step."

"Rhysand..." Nesta didn't know what do say.

"Nesta, you will never need to call me Rhysand, Rhys is what my family and friends call me." He gave her a smile. "And I accept your apology."

"And I accept yours." Nesta got up. Once again fealing lighter.

"Nesta." Rhys called out. Stoping her. "I forgave you the moment you made my brother dance on solstice." She turned around.

"For what part of my behaviour?"

"All of it, for you made me realize that I really enjoy seeing Cassian dance." The smile one of mischief. "No, I forgave you for I saw how you accely cared for us all on that day. I saw a piece of myself in you."

"The smug, arrogant part?" she said back. Not sure what he was talking about.

"The one who was ready to sacrifice everything to keep her family safe." His words left her in chock. But Nesta only nodded, and left his office. Feeling as a thousand stones had been lifted from her shoulders. It was time for her to move on with her life, with her and Cassian's life.

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It was a short one, Some things do not have to be long and drawn out. 

What did you think of this one? Do you think Nesta needs to apologize for how she behaved? or have the others forgiven her anyway? 

Vote, Comment, Share!!! 

/Mymymoon