Forgotten Love [Loki x reader] (Part 2)

Chapter 17

-- your POV --

The next morning I woke up it's to an empty and cold bed. Usually I was the first who's up in the morning, especially lately when I can't sleep, but it seems like Loki is awake for some hours already.

I sit up and look around. Everything looks so... clean. Really different from the last weeks. I assume Loki got bored and just cleaned up a bit. I rub my eyes and slowly make it out of bed to walk downstairs.

There were our suitcases standing next to the door. It confuses me. Why would they stand there? I walk into the kitchen with a still curious look at the suitcases incase they would move by themselves, which is totally mad because they're suitcases.

-Loki: "Good Morning." He said enthusiastically and pressed a cup of coffee into my hands. I look at him just as curious as I looked at the suitcases. Today is a weird day.

-Y/n: "Morning." It sounds just as confused as I am.

-Loki: "I already packed everything but I left an outfit in the closet and your necessities at the place where they were already." He himself took a sip of his own coffee.

-Y/n: "Why did you pack our things?"

-Loki: "You said you wanted to leave. Now, go on and get ready. Our taxi should come in half an hour to get us to the airport."

Before I could say something, because what the fuck, he received a call and walked outside to our terrace. And then it hit me. I never said I wanted to leave. I would rather never leave this place. How does he come up with such things? Suddenly my heart started to pound faster; I don't want our time to end. As soon as we would arrive in New York, our lives would be separated again and we'll probably won't ever see each other again.

Then my heart started to ache. Is that what he wants? Did I do everything so terribly wrong that he doesn't want to spend time with me here anymore? Or worse, does he know that those words are constantly in my head? Again, it's not like that's true but what if that terrifies him as much as it terrifies myself? I had to swallow but I understand if that's the case that he doesn't want to stay here any longer. Reality had to come back somewhen.

*

-Loki: "Have you gotten everything? Should I check again?"

The feeling of insecurity and anxiety didn't grow any less while I was preparing myself, it just grew and grew and grew. I am shaking now, can't really explain why but my body does what it wants, just as my heart that is about to jump out of my chest.

-Y/n: "I believe so." I manage to spit out, palms sweating.

-Loki: "I take another look." He wanted to go beside me but I put my hand on his chest, the first physical touch between us after that night that came from me, and he stopped.

-Y/n: "Why do you want to leave? Did-," I sighed, "did I do something wrong?"

-Loki: "What? No. But don't you want to leave? Isn't that what you were trying to tell me yesterday?" I looked at him even more confused than before.

-Y/n: "Yesterday? What? No." I repeated him. "Why do you think that?"

-Loki: "Didn't you want to tell me that you want to go back to New York but you were too afraid to tell me?" Now confusion is written over his face.

-Y/n: "Too afraid? Loki, do you know me at all? I've told you that I don't want to leave at all, I would rather spend the rest of my life here."

-Loki: "Well, but you have your duties." He sounded kind of sad? No, he certainly did not. Why would he?

A car honked outside the door and suddenly everything went silent. Neither of us want to leave but it seems like we're forced to do so.

-Loki: "If that's not what you were trying to tell me, what was it then?" My heart sunk down to my stomach.

-Y/n: "Nothing!" I quickly spit out. "It's nothing," I continue slower, "not important."

Then the silence grew again. This house was never as silent as it is now. It's almost terrifying. I've never felt better than in this house with Loki. Yes, it's probably at the end of the world and we have to drive at least 45 minutes to get to a shop to buy something but it's everything I ever longed for. Then the driver honked again.

-Loki: "I guess we have to leave now."

I was frozen in place. I didn't want to leave, not now, not ever. Loki went up to the door and got two suitcases in his hands and walked towards the door. My heart picked up on speed again and my mouth went bone dry. I watched as Loki carried the suitcases outside, I heard how he spoke to the driver and how he put the suitcases inside the car and then he came back for the last two suitcases and I watched and listened again, frozen in place. And then he came back one last time to collect the last thing that's still in the house: me.

-Loki: "Are you coming?"

I shook my head, not able to form words. Loki sighed.

-Loki: "Look, I know now that you would like to stay longer but you said it yourself, you have duties that wait for you in New York and you would have to face them sooner or later. See it as an opportunity to not postpone these things any further."

-Y/n: "I thought you and Tony took care of those things." I swallowed again, even though my mouth was still dry. The driver honked again.

-Loki: "We really need to go now. We'll miss our flight."

When I didn't answer nor move Loki took my hand and guided me towards the door and just before he opened it one last time I took my hand away from his grip.

-Y/n: "No." I whisper and go back to the stairs where I was standing before.

-Loki: "I'm sorry, Y/n. If I had asked you we wouldn't be in this situation but it's just a house. You can come back here whenever you'd like."

-Y/n: "This is not about the house, Loki." I snapped.

-Loki: "Then tell me what this is about." He almost begged and Loki most certainly never begs.

-Y/n: "It- it doesn't matter, okay? I just don't want to leave." I hug myself tightly. I know I'm pulling a scene and that's the last thing on earth I would want to do but I'm not really in control of my body nor my feelings right now.

-Loki: "y/n, either you come with me now or I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you Into the Taxi."

He looked dead serious but I somehow didn't believe him. When none of us moved and the house fell silent again, he spoke for another time.

-Loki: "Is this about me? Do you want me to leave?" Now his voice definitely sounds sad.

-Y/n: "Don't be ridiculous. Of course I don't want you to leave."

-Loki: "but it has to do with me, doesn't it?"

When I didn't say a word he just let out a laughter, which wasn't with amusement, and shook his head. He walked outside again and came back with two suitcases, my suitcases, and i again just watched it happen.

-Loki: "Farewell, Y/n." He turned around and walked away, just when he reached the door I couldn't help myself anymore.

-Y/n: "I love you, Loki."

He immediately stopped to move and I felt ashamed. Of course it is ridiculous and maybe I mean this words now that they came out, but I'm not prepared for his reaction. He's just standing there, holding the door handle with one hand, frozen in the doorframe. I want to sink into the ground.

-Loki: "What?" His voice is tender, vulnerable and when he turns around a single tear is running down his cheek.

-Y/n: "I'm sorry." I whisper and look down. I can't look into his eyes.