My Sister's Fiance

Chapter Fifteen--- Casting Shadow

Cassandra.

Miraculously the time run fast than ecpected and I have the opportunity to head home again. Exhaustion was already setting on me and I love the feeling of it knowing I can sleep peacefully without unwanted thoughts and memory. 

The moment I step in my room I dive into my bed longing for its comfort.

Tiring so tiring.

Wonderland is coming. Peace is coming. I love this feeling, it saves me.

Lids closed and almost in dreams when suddenly I feel my bed bouncing.

Crap. Not now.

"hey.." My sister called while hugging me. We used to share bed before, those were times when we were in the dumps, when she had her nightmares, when its raining and lightning and thunder were so loud you think they'll pierce your ears.

"hey.." I replied in unergetic way. I sooo need sleep. I sooo need time alone, I soooo need space. Ooh common.

"thank you." she hug me more and the protectiveness I felt toward her make me give her a light sleepy kiss in the forehead. "your always welcome." I said despite everything I feel, they seem so insignificant when it came to her. She's my family, my sister and my life. Ive been surviving for her sake for countless of years now.

She just smile so brightly at me that I feel I could be blinded by her sweet smile. Her vibrance awaken me a bit.

"Jeremy's parents want to come over next weekend maybe for the pamanhikan.."

For what? My exhaustion, tiredness and everything went away. I was fully awake with her announcement. Can it just wait for a while and atleast give me space or time?

"well were getting married so its essential right? I mean its tradition to a boy's parents and family to come over the girls house to ask her hand in marriage from her parents and then decided about the wedding, right?"

"yeah. .just that ahm we dont have parents??" I said unsure how to persuade her to drop the idea.

"yeah but your almost a parent to me. .besides they need to meet you." she said in high pitch tone.

"nah. .it'll be fine. Don't put a lot of thought about it." I sunk my head back to my pillow. Geez. This is horrible.

"but Please. .I want them to know my good sister. .im sure they'll be impress." If she only knew. They'll be terrified.

I tilt my head a little to answer her. "sissy. .you don't need to impress every living soul in this world. Your going to marry their son not them. Let them. .besides they'll just accept you sooner or later. Okay?" And feeling for escape I buried myself again in my pillow while she was trying to sit beside me.

"no. .its not okay. .they don't like me not ever. Im Jeremy's 7th or 8th or maybe 9th girlfriend. .but his parents never like any of us. I mean me and his exes. Jeremy doesn't seem to last long in a relationships before. He ended up at 2 months, 3 months, 4 months. ."

"great. .then why ask you to marry when he can't keep up a relationship?" I asked, I still feel sleepy or maybe wanted to be sleepy. This conversation was so perfect timing.

"but he can. .he had this girlfriend some 8 years ago. They lasted more than two years. .and the only girl his parents like is her. His first girlfriend!" she exclaimed. "His parents believe Im just another fling, someone he wont take seriously!" Hurt, pain, and disappointment are evident in her voice like a child arguing for something. I mentally cursed myself for everything, now me and my sister is burdened by my own shadow years ago. Curse that or curse me?

I sat down and took her hand in mine trying to comfort her or maybe myself. "Don't think about her okay? She's nothing compared to you. Besides Jeremy chose you to be his wife. Don't let them hinder that." I guess I could run for martyrdom, sometimes sacrificing your happiness is a must to make someone feel much better even if it means killing yourself over and over again.

"Jeremy had no serious relationship after that..--"

---" except you.." I cutted. " your different. Your unique. Your worth is nothing compared to that girl. Believe me."

"but he doesn't talk about her. .if his sister didn't tell me I wouldn't even know. ."

I give her a light squeeze.  "What you don't know won't hurt you. .if he didn't tell you then maybe because its irrelevant. Besides look now, you know it and your just dead worry about her. She's gone. Its been you said years ago. .she's gone Emme. Let it go."

"But what if she came back??" her tone raise sounding so alarmed and worried.

I was froozen for a moment there. I can't find my words. Yeah. What if she came back? I came back? No. No! I shook off the thought and know better. I can't! I won't! I shouldn't because when I leave I know there will be no turning back. I can't come back, not now not ever, not again. Not this time. No definetely not.

I gulped and try to sound calm and motherly. Its been my role ever since amd controlling my emotions in front of others are the easiest way I could escape every scrutiny and malice everyone threw. I play dead deaf to words from others and I don't care about insults and I make sure Im fine, except that I know Im not."just be yourself. .his family will like you believe me. .as to her. .she won't come back. .and if she will I promise you, she won't come anywhere near you or him. Okay?" then I held and hug her tight. Ive come so many circumstances for my sister. I have left the man I love for her, I know even if my inner desire want to come back and hold him near, my logical self, wont allow it. Not in anyway possible.

I bit my lip for the pain. Why is life so cruel? Why is fate so cruel? Was she testing my love and devotion for my sister? Cause if she do, then Im proving it again!

.........