All By Myself

Grades

Sometimes, you need to be prouder of yourself.

It was lunch time. People were huddled in the cafeteria in line for the buffet. There were no servers and students could eat all they wanted. There are dishes ranging from mashed potatoes to macaroni and cheese to fried rice to sandwiches and to salad bars. Students were chattering about different things. Charmaine and I met our two other close friends, Maya and Maxine at the table. Maya and Maxine are twins from class B. We were best friends since 5th grade but we all got separated. The twins always wore oversized sweatshirts to school. I guess it's comfortable and trendy. We all went to get our food. I dished out some cheesy and creamy macaroni and cheese with a side of chicken nuggets. I also grabbed some broccoli in ranch dressing. Charmaine poured tomato soup and biscuit into her bowl while Maya and Maxine had their lunch packed from home. They were having Korean Ramen.

"I heard you guys were dissecting frogs!" Maya exclaimed, "I wish we could do that". Her crystal blue eyes glistened as the sun shone from the black window. The twin's red hair started flying all over the place when Charmaine turned another AC on.

Suddenly I started to gag. I was praying that I won't vomit.

"Let's not speak about that on the lunch table.", Charmaine spoke up.

"Charmaine, have you finished the 3rd episode of Penthouse yet?", Maxine asked.

Penthouse was a Korean drama that Charmaine and the twins were obsessed about. I have no idea what it's about because Korean Dramas and I don't associate with each other well at all. I always tried to avoid the topic about this, I feel left out.

"Yeah! I love it so much!", exclaimed Charmaine

"I wonder who is behind the girl in the mirror!", Maya yelled out.

I tried to speak with them but to me they were talking about nonsense. They all started giggling and laughing as they tried to solve the conflicts of the characters. I ate my lunch silently. The macaroni tasted so cheesy and it was worth every bite I took. The broccoli was chewy and salty because of the ranch dressing. I watched as the others laughed their mouths off. Well at least they are happy. Why am I even caring about being left out? I have so many other things to worry about like my upcoming math quiz. I think I have the answer, it's because they are the only ones that care that I exist but sometimes I don't even think they do. I think my annoying self should not ruin this moment; they are having a great conversation.

"I am so mad at Soo Dan Tae'', Maya angrily exclaimed. Her mouth was full of the ramen sauce.

"Who's that?" I asked, trying to fit in.

"He's the bad guy in Penthouse.", Charmaine told me.

"Anyways, I heard that we're getting our report card next class.", I said changing the subject, "I don't think I did well".

"Shut up Stella, you and your grades are so annoying I can't stand it to be honest, just stop, we know you did good." Maxine nagged.

I wanted to cry. I am extremely sensitive when it comes to my grades. The only reason I want good grades is for my parents to finally notice me. Grades are the only thing I worry about in my life. It's causing me a lot of stress but I can't unthink it. Grades are the only thing my parents worry about in my family; I use it to get attention whether it's bad or good. I don't get any attention in my life, since I was a young child. No one ever noticed me. I was a shadow in everyone's light and it has always been like that.

"I am sorry," I apologized.

"You keep saying sorry and doing it, what's the matter with you and your grades?" Maxine yelled out.