All By Myself

Stop Comparing

Comparing children to one another can lead to stress and low self-esteem.

"Yes!" I thought, "I can't wait to show my parents my report card". I rushed in and I saw Dad and Elliot playing Candy Land, a board game.

"Mum, Dad, I got my report card and I got straight As!", I exclaimed holding up my report card.

"Oh, good sweetheart, your brother just got his too, A+s" my mum smiled and spoke.

Elliot smirked from across the room. That sentence structed me. Why can't they put Elliot aside and be happy for me for once? Or those everything needs to be about him? I am a shadow, my brother's shadow.

I ran into my room and tossed myself on my bed. I screamed and yelled under a pillow so that no one can hear me. I was jealous. I was envious of all the love and attention my brother is getting. Do I even exist? Am I in a world that only Charmaine can hear me? Am I cursed? Are my parents cursed? Is this something to do with Magic? Am I under the invisibility cloak?

I didn't feel like myself. I was hurt, and it could not be mended. I didn't feel worthy enough to my parents. I am just a waste of time. Would I be better off dead? Would they even notice it? Would they even care?

I clutched my knees to my chest and stared outside. I saw birds in their nests with their parents. Butterflies drinking flower juice. Trees growing and the sun setting. I heard a call outside.

"Estella dear dinner time." my dad called out.

I cleared my throat to make sure they couldn't hear my upset voice.

"No thank you dad, I am not hungry."

"Alrigh.t"

No protests. No nothing, no anything. Do they even care about me? They sounded like they were peaceful out there. Noises of cutlery, laughter and obviously my parents talking about Elliot's success.

I walked into my favourite place in my room.

Near my bedside, there is a door. It had brick wallpapers on it. To me, it looks like the entrance to Diagon Alley. I tapped on the door with a pattern and opened it. It was my closet but I transformed it into my world.

There were bookshelves stacked with my favourite series. I had 3 sets of the Harry Potter books. The English set, it was the original copy by Bloomsbury. The Spanish set which each spine combines into the Hogwarts castle and the French set. I loved the illustrations on the covers. Under the Harry Potter book sets shelf was my Fantastic Beast series. I loved it as well but not as much as the Harry Potter series. Next to it was a book called "Quidditch Through the Years". It demonstrates a sport in the wizarding world. I also had the Narnia collection and The Land of Stories but I doubt it Harry Potter is my favourite.

There was another shelf near the book shelf and it was my wand collection. I displayed all of my wands there in stands. My favourite one is the Elder Wand. It was black and rough. It had lumps on the wand; it was different sizes with a beautiful but rather complicated patterns on it. Next to it was Alastor Moody's wand, then there was Hermione Granger's wand and Harry Potter's wand, next to it was Ron and Ginny Weasley's wands. I also had Severus Snape's wand and so on. I couldn't describe them all because they would take up 20 more pages. I also had figurines of my favourite characters displayed on the shelf too. I had The Golden Trio, Hagrid, Dumbledore, Ginny, Fred, George, Draco, Snape, McGonagall, and Luna. In the middle of the tiny room was a little desk. I barely used that desk because who reads at a desk? On the desk were pencils and markers in a little Troll foot container. In one corner of the room, I had a couch. You would feel like you are sitting on clouds and it would sink you into the bottom of it. I had a Ravenclaw scarf on it. It was a dark purple and white pattern with laces at the bottom. I had the house flags up on the wall. There is also a tall Mannequin wearing the Hogwarts robes.

This is the place I would come in when I am at my lowest. I spent most of my days here. I am over the top obsessed with Harry Potter and it's a part of my life. Without it, I don't know what to do on sad days.

I love to read and watch the movies. Its "apparats" me to Hogwarts and I don't need to think of my life problems