Sleeping Beauty

Chapter 32

America

At the hotel, I wake up crying. I pull my phone out. More notifications. I read them over and over again. I needed to get out of here. I look over at the clock on my bed stand. 3:34 a.m. I had only been asleep for two hours. 

I get up and begin to throw everything back into my suitcase and pick up a phone to call a cab. My parents gave me an emergengy credit card incase I ever needed it. I could just use that. I turn around after grabbing my toothbrush in the bathroom and run into the wall. Suddenly, I'm on the floor and crying. God, why was I so stupid to think that he might actually care about me?

I throw my toothbrush across the room in frustration after I get back up and grab my suitcase that had straps on it so I could carry it on my back. I stepped out of the room and looked down the hall to the left. Shawn was just two doors down since Sherry got the room between us. I could go down and say goodbye...

He would never let you go. He's still using you. 

I close my eyes. 

"Where are you going?"

Crap. The body guard. 

"Where's Shawn?" I ask.

He looks from his suitcase to me to Shawn's door and hesitates. "Well, in his room of course."

"Good." I walk past the bodyguard, moving slower than I would like to. "Don't tell him I left."

"Will you be coming back, America?"

"Never." I hit the button on the elevator and listen to the depressing music as I go down several floors. When the door opens, a boy with blonde hair appears. I suck in a deep breath and hope he won't question me.

He laughs a little when he sees me. "America, America, America."

"Why are you up?" I ask, hoping to slide past him. He doesn't let me. Instead, he steps in, hits a button, and lets the doors close behind him. Now I was trapped.

Carter looks angry. "If you must know, I was thinking and thinking requires smoking."

I raise my eyebrows. "You smoke?"

"Only when I want to."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works." We were on the fifth floor now.

He laughs. "That's how it's always worked." Carter takes a step closer, making me nervous.

"Can you let me get off? Now."

"You aren't enjoying this quality time with me?" He smirks. "I've never been told I wasn't an enjoyable person."

Then it all comes to me. I look at Carter with hate and disgust. "You took that picture, didn't you?"

He gives a little bow. "Why of course. Who else?"

Then he does the worst thing imaginable. He leans in and presses his lips to mine. I try to scream, but I'm sure no one can hear me. When I try to fight Carter, one of my crutches falls, but he grabs my shoulders just in time to keep me standing. Tears spill from my eyes. Then the elevator doors open and he lets go of me and I crumple into a disfigured position on the ground. "Fuck you!" I scream. "Go to hell."

He smiles as the doors close. "Gladly." 

On the way down the twelve floors I just went up, I pick myself up using the railings on the walls and put my weight on my crutches. I just want to go home. I go through the empty lobby, hoping the cab will just be there by now. It's not, of course. I shake my head and shiver a little. I don't even remember what city I'm in. It's chilly, probably about 50 or 60 degrees outside.

I take in the fresh air and try to fill my chest with air since it feels like it's about to explode. 

"America?"

Shawn. Jesus, what happened to him being in his room?

"Are... Are you leaving?"

The cab enters the parking lot. All I would have to do it get myself in it. 

I turn around to face him. My plan was to not see him so this wouldn't happen. When I don't answer, he takes another step towards me. "Please don't leave."

I yell because it's all I've wanted to do all night. "Why shouldn't I? I don't deserve you! I DON'T DESERVE ANYONE!"

He shakes his head and grabs my shoulders. "You are ridiculous. You know that? Do you hear what you're saying?" Shawn closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine. "If anything, I don't deserve you." 

I almost believe him. I almost turn around and tell the cab driver to go away, but the words written under that picture were still gnawing at me, tearing me apart from the inside and I was so angry that I couldn't let any other emotion stay within me for a few seconds.

I pull away and throw my bag into the seat of the cab. "I can't live like this."

Shawn shakes his head and begins to raise his voice. "But I can't live without you! I've made myself forget what's it's like to live without you because the memories were to painful! I need you, America."

I press my forehead against the cab. "Stop trying to change my mind."

"It's been three days!"

"Three days of fucking torture! Why can't you just not be famous? Don't you see the way girls look at you? You can't see the way you look back at them? But I can. You could pick any one of those girls to be your pet and they'd agree to it so don't make me do something I don't want to do."

Hurt covers his face as I throw my crutches into the car. I put my hand on the side of the door so I can ease my way down into the seat.

"I'll do anything."

I stop. He sounded so weak and fragile, like he was about to cry. Like he would really do anything for me. All anger leaves my body.

I turn around and my heart sinks when he's on his knees. 

"Look at me."

I notice that I'm looking everywhere to avoid his eyes. 

I bite my lip and look at the lady in the lobby. She's on the phone with someone and she glances our way, looking confused.

"Look at me." Shawn takes my hand and I slowly look down at him as a tear runs down my cheek. 

"I... I just don't want everyone judging me when they don't even know me because I have one leg or because I'm with you. I'm not anything any of those girls called me. I'm not... If I'm away from you, all of that disappears. I mean, I still have one leg, but no one's going to say anything about it, I hope. Not like that."

Shawn takes my other hand. "I'll do anything," he repeats. 

I sigh, not knowing what the words are going to be before they come out of my mouth.

"Kiss me." 

That was the most memorable kiss with Shawn. The one that happened at 3:00 in the morning in some city that I didn't even know we were in.