Sleeping Beauty

Chapter 20

Shawn

I slammed the car door shut and told my driver to pull up the street. As soon as I hit that airport, I could forget any of this happened. I could tour the country without her crossing my mind once.

America.

I stare into the rear view mirror as we begin to pull up the street. She's kneeling in the grass and trying to push herself up with her crutches, but she falls every time. Finally, she gives up and cries. My heart aches.

I look away from the mirror. You can do this.

My eyes catch her again.

Stay focused.

America is so beautiful.

She's not worth-

"Stop the car!" Before the words are even out of my mouth, I'm barreling out of the car and sprinting down the street. America looks up like she doesn't believe it.

"Shawn?"

I slip my hands under her arms and help her up. She's lighter than I expected, so it's easy. Then I let her balance on my shoulder while I pick up the crutches for her. 

As soon as she's standing again, I take a step away.

She speaks again. "But I thought-"

I close the gap again and gently kiss her lips. My hand rests on her back to keep her steady. When I pull away, I separate us just enough so our lips aren't touching, but our heads still are. "I love you," she whispers.

I almost say it back to her, but as soon as I look into her eyes, I see her kissing the boy again. The picture sits there in my head, mocking me.

I take a step back, which must be unexpected because she stumbles backwards a little bit and almost falls. 

"What?" she asks.

I turn my back to her and don't answer.

"What did I do?" she whispers as I hear her crutches clicking the ground. 

I take a step forward before she touches me. "I saw you with him," I mumble.

"With who?" she asks, but I know she knows who I'm talking about.

"The boy in your picture book."

America takes a deep breath. "Look Shawn, we used to date, but we broke up right before the... Nothing happened. He was just checking on me-"

"BS," I mumble under my breath.

She must hear it. "Excuse me?"

"Your explanation is bullshit!"

She hobbles in front of me, but I turn the other way. Her voice fills my ears. "Oh yeah, you always have to find something wrong with me. Do you not trust me or something?"

"I did."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I cross my arms over my chest and then uncross them when I spin around and yell in her face. "I saw you kissing him, okay? I walked in to give you those flowers and saw you two!"

I watch her face sink.

I scoff. "Have a nice life, America." I turn around and walk towards the car. 

"Shawn!"

I keep walking.

"Shawn!"

She's not worth it. "Go away, America," I say through my teeth.

The tiny click against the pavement continues to follow me. 

I slip my hand into the car door handle and open it.

"Would you just give me a minute to explain?"

I don't know what makes me insane enough to turn around, but I do. I lean against the car and cross my arms.

America finally hobbles her way up the rest of the sidewalk and she takes a second to catch her breath. Then she begins to speak so fast that I can hardly understand what she's saying. "Brandon and me broke up on the night of the accident. He only came in because he thought I was going to die and that I was going to be mad at him for all eternity, so I let him sit there and explain some stuff and then he was kissing me and I didn't know what to do-"

"Pull away maybe?" I offer.

She continues to babble. "Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I kissed him back and then he didn't stop kissing me and I was really grossed out about it-"

"Don't need the details," I whisper.

"Listen, Shawn. I'm still trying to figure everything that happened before the accident and eveything that happened afterwards. They both seem like two different lives."

I look down the street and at my house, anywhere but at her face because I know if I look at her face, I'll give in. 

"Shawn, look at me."

I shake my head.

"Please." She runs her hand across my jaw and I slowly turn to face her. She's pratically begging me to forgive her and in that moment she looks so beautiful and perfect. Before thinking about it twice, I stand up and press my lips to her. This time it feels different. It feels more like the truth. Every time the picture of her and the boy pop up, I push it away and kiss her harder. Eventually, the memories pass and it's just us there in the middle of the street. 

There's a tapping sound, but it seems far away. I ignore it. Then it comes again. I gently pull away and notice it's the driver knocking on the window. "What?" I ask.

"We got to get you to the airport. You're going to miss your flight."

I turn to America. What did I just do? 

"Oh," she whispers. "Well how long will you be gone? Two or three weeks?"

I shake my head and look up at the blue sky. "Four months."

"Four months!" She says it like she can't believe it's true. 

"I'm sorry, I can't cancel it."

She looks from me to Dr. Allan to me again. Then she presses her head to my chest and I wrap my arms around her. "What are we going to do?"

"Shawn!" The man inside the car shouts, sounding irritated. "If you miss your flight-"

"I know, I know," I say. Then I look down at America. "I got to go." I pull away from her, but refuse to let our hands separate until they have to. "Ask Dr. Allan for my number and call me tonight around 9:30, okay?"

I slide into the seat, but don't pull away from her hand. The car is already started. 

"Okay," she whispers, looking at me like it's the last time.

"Hey," I whisper. "I love you."

A shy smile stretches across her lips. "I love you, too."

The my asshole car driver starts the car before I even close the door and our hands are ripped apart. I quickly close the door and slip my seat belt on. My eyes move to the rear view mirrors.

A girl is looking at me through it. She has one leg and silver crutches, but you can hardly notice after you see her hair and beautiful eyes. Her hand is raise up as a way of waving goodbye. I silently raise mine, but put it back down as soon as I can because it hurts too much to think how long I might go without seeing her.

Her name is America. I love her and she loves me.