Sleeping Beauty

Chapter 24

America

Saying goodbye to Shawn was hard. A small part of me still believed that I would be able to see him tomorrow, that I would get to kiss him tomorrow.

But the smarter part of me reminded myself that it wasn't possible. He had left to go sing across the country and if that's what he wanted, if he was happy, then I was happy, too.

Shawn

It's crazy to think that the only reason I agreed to this tour in the first place was to get away from America. I was stupid to think that I would be able to forget her, because forgetting her meant living without her and I wasn't capable of that. 

These five minute phone calls at ten o'clock at night, were the only thing that kept me going. My parents wouldn't be here for two weeks so America was all I had.

Hearing her voice was my only escape from a world without her. 

America

After all, I was lucky to have Shawn. I don't even deserve him after everything I did. 

I have no friends here. I mean, how many teenagers want to talk to the weirdo with one leg. Even Shawn admitted to liking me before he noticed I had something wrong with me. Everyday for the rest of my life, I knew I'd be judged before a single word came out of my mouth and it sucked.

The only thing that kept me going was photography and the five minute phone calls at night. 

I was alone at my house since both my parents had to work when I finally realized that I could be dead right now. The only thing worth living for was Shawn.

Shawn

I had never wondered what I would be doing twenty years from now until I met America. I had only worried about what was happening now, avoiding the past and the future. That's what kept me going. 

But now, I worry about the future all the time. I want to be with America twenty years from now. If I quit the tour, then I won't make any money. My fans will basically revolt and ignore me for the rest of my life. On the surface, it might seem worth it, but there was nothing else I wanted to do in life as a career except sing and if I couldn't carry on with my career, then I couldn't provide for America in the future. That would mean living without her. So in order to have her forever, I would have to make it through this period of time without her. 

America

Self photography was all I wanted to do. I didn't want to take pictures of anyone but me (like I had a choice). When I asked my parents for a tripod to hold my camera up at dinner, they both shook their heads. That's not what I had been expecting. "Why?"

My mom answered. "We've been meaning to explain to you..." She can't finish. 

Dad finished. "We're going to be tight on money. We have to pay off the new house and the hospital bills, not to mention the occupational therapist-"

"I don't need an occupational therapists."

"Honey," my mom whispers. "You can't do things like you used to, and I know how you are about doing things on your own, but-"

I don't mean to snap, but sometimes, you can't help it. "What does this have to do with getting a tripod? You two are treating me like I'm a totally different person! I'm still me, I just don't have a leg, okay?" I take a deep breath. "I didn't want this. I wanted to live the rest of my days without being crippled, but it happened and you can't go around it. Can you just buy me a damn tripod?"

My dad sets down his fork. "Watch your language."

"If you want a tripod, you're going to have to get a job." My mom sets her fork down also and folds her hands in her lap.

I'm taken back by the words that come out of her mouth, but I'm careful not to show it. I let out a quick scoff before I say, "How many people want a girl with one leg working for them?"

My mom continues to speak while my dad stays silent. "If you want a tripod bad enough, you will find a job. End of discussion!"

I stare at her for a couple seconds with my mouth hanging open before I push my chair back, take my crutches, and leave. It takes me five or six minutes to get up the steps. So much for a dramatic exit. 

Shawn

I spend all day working out the technical difficulties with the stage and sound manager. I still want "A Team" to be the finale and when they argue I should sing one of my songs, I shake my head. "It's for someone." They didn't push anything after that. I then told them I only wanted it to snow, not rain. They simply nodded and wrote everything down. I picked all my favorite songs and explained that I could change it throughout the tour if I found anything I liked better. Both of them agreed.

I got to pick what I would wear every night. No makeup, which was ridiculous. Why would I need makeup? No planned choreography, just plain and simple singing and walking around the stage so I could be seen by everyone. 

I still had to do the planned concert that night, but I didn't have to follow the choreography and I still got to end it with the "A Team." 

After Detroit, we only had to go to Chicago, so we were driving through the night. No secrutiy and no airplane mode. I could talk to America as long as I wanted. 

As soon as I got in the car, I spread out across the seats and dialed the only important number on my phone.

America

After dinner, I went on my computer and tried to find a place where I could get a job. Not a restraunt. That involved walking. I could technically work at a store, but the chances of someone hiring me were slim considering I would be expected to walk around and organize things. Where else could a teenager get a job?

After hours of searching and searching, I get so frustrated that tears start to fall down my face. Is this how hard stuff was going to be from now on? Am I going to be able to do anything by myself?

My phone buzzes on the table. It was 10:01 and Shawn was calling. In the few seconds I had, I tried to calm myself down.

Shawn

I get worried that she's not going to answer. She doesn't answer until four rings, but I don't hear her voice. "America?"

America

I cover my mouth with my hand and try to hide the small cries coming from my mouth?"

Shawn

She doesn't answer. "America?"

America

If I don't say anything, he'll hang up. "Hello?" My voice cracks. I give up and let the rest of the tears fall. 

Shawn

My heart skips a beat. I had never heard America cry. Thank God I couldn't see her, because if I could, I knew I would've cried, too.