Sleeping Beauty

Chapter 14

America

I don't understand what I did wrong. How could I? I can't even move? I mean, I was enjoying all of it so much and then he just left. He sounded so upset. I must have done something wrong.

In my head, I'm hyperventilating, gasping for air, but on the outside, the air goes in and comes out three seconds later, just like it should. 

All day, I sit in the gay hospital bed that's starting to feel as comfortable as a coffin and try my best to act like I don't exist. The doctors come in and they all panic when I don't do their stupid blinking thing. Of course, the black doctor comes up to me and he goes, "Can you still hear me?" and I blink twice just to be annoying. He rolls his eyes. "Do you want me to call Shawn?"

Yes.

I blink twice. I don't know why, but calling Shawn seems like a stupid thing to do. If he doesn't want to see me anymore, he shouldn't have to see me. 

The next day, Shawn doesn't come again. My heart aches. I should have told the doctor yes yesterday. 

Then I realize what I need to do. The doctors all say it's a mental thing, the decision between waking up, staying here, or dying. So, I guess I need to pick one of those.

I close my eyes and picture myself walking up. I sit up on the bed and Shawn comes running towards me. He hugs me and tells me he's sorry.

When I open my eyes again, something is wrong. Black spots mark my vision. Oh my god, Oh my god. Then, pain blossoms in my chest and spreads until I can't take it anymore. I scream. Nobody hear's it except me. The pain is so awful, that I can't feel my heart beating. Maybe it's not beating at all. Air is sucked from my lungs and when I gasp for more, there's nothing there. Every muscle in my body tenses.

All I wanted was to wake up.

So this is what dying is like. Why is it so painful?

My eyes are open, but I can't see. A blaring ring covers up the sound of the busy hospital. 

And then, it must happen, because all feeling leaves my body and is left with a dull sting. 

This is when you're called...

dead as a doornail.