Missed Times

Chapter Four

"No, I didn't," I immediately pull my hand away and move to the side as far as I can from Michelle. "Carina, I didn't, I..."

"It's okay Maya, please calm down," Carina says and takes a step closer to me as she sees me panicking. "Maya, breathe, everything is fine, just focus on your breathing, please."

Carina touches my feet and looks me in the eyes. I focus only on her. I love her, I only love Carina, she's the only one I will ever love. This must be a mistake.

"Maya, we are together now," Michelle says and I shake my head. "I'm your girlfriend."

"Porca miseria, chiudi il becco!" Carina gives Michelle an angry look.

"She needs to know the truth Carina," Michelle harshly says. "Are you going to lie to her and pretend you're still together?"

My head starts to spin and the machines I'm still plugged into start beeping. I hear what Michelle is saying but I can't believe her, it cannot be true. I love my wife, I love the life we're building together. I vowed to choose her forever and I meant it.

Amelia and a nurse rush into my room.

"What the hell happened?" Amelia asks but doesn't wait for an answer. Carina takes a step back so they can treat me. "Out! Both of you"

"No, Car- Carina," I try to speak, but my head hurts and my voice is not coming out properly.

"I'll be close, I promise. Let them help you," Carina walks towards the door and exits.

Amelia shouts at Michelle again, who reluctantly leaves.

Before I can even say or ask anything my eyes feel heavy and I'm out again.

*-*-*-*-*

The light is coming through the window. I must've been asleep for hours and it's morning again. I look to my right and my mom is sitting in the chair next to me. She has her eyes closed and her arms crossed. Her hands look a little older, she has a few marks on them like little cuts. She works in a flower shop, oh no. Carina immediately comes to my mind and before I can even stop it I'm sobbing. My mom wakes up and reaches her hand to me.

"Oh, sweetheart. It's okay, you're okay," she rubs my hand and I shake my head.

"I'm not, nothing is," I sob and my mom hugs me. I hug her back and cry on her shoulder. I don't think I've ever done this before, but it comforts me. I feel safe.

"It will be. I'm here Maya," my mom strokes my back and we stay like that until I start to calm down. "What can I do for you? You want me to ask for your doctor?"

"No, I'm fine," I wipe my tears. "I just need someone to tell me the truth."

That's the only thing I need right now, answers.

"You can ask me anything you want," my mom smiles softly. "I probably don't have many details, but let's see if I can help."

"Carina and I," I hesitate. "Did we..."

I can't even formulate the question, it breaks my heart just to think about it. But my mom seems to get it.

"You're separated," she announces with sadness and I cover my mouth with my hand. My heart breaks and I can feel the pit in my stomach.

"For how long?"

"Eight months, I think," my mom says while she strokes my hand. "I don't know why, though, neither of you like to talk about it."

"But I don't understand," I blurt out. "You lived with us the first months. We love each other. Of course we argued but that doesn't change how we feel."