Missed Times

Chapter Six

"All I know so far is I abandoned my team, I lied to my wife and I don't have any friends left," I say looking down at my hands.

I'm sitting on my bed in front of Megan, my new therapist, who's been sitting in a chair scribbling down on her notepad and nodding for half an hour now.

"How is it possible to be a completely different person than the one I was three years ago?" I ask in frustration.

"We are constantly evolving Maya, but I'm sure your personality is the same, that doesn't change," Megan says putting down her notepad on her lap and looking at me.

"So somehow everyone around me realized I'm a terrible person and gave up on me?" I scoff.

"That's not what I'm saying," Megan says calmly. "Every day we have to make choices, they sometimes are so small and insignificant that if we look back a few years we are surprised of the path that we took."

I nod, taking in every word she is saying. I understand the concept, but I want to find the one choice that shifted everything.

"Do you think I'll remember where I went wrong?"

"Unfortunately, we cannot be sure if all your memories will come back or not, but if you want to take your life on a different path you can do it Maya, you don't need your memory to do that."

"I just feel so lost," I say defeated. "I want to make things right, but I don't know where to begin. I kept so many things from the people I love."

"We are creatures of habit, have you thought of the possibility that the old Maya might have left some clues?" Megan questions.

I chew my lip, thinking about this possibility. If I didn't tell anyone of my family and friends about what I was doing there must be something or someone else who knew.

"You can also do nothing at all and it's okay too," Megan says and I frown. "You have a clean slate, you can do whatever you want with it."

*-*-*-*-*

"Hey Cap, are you ready to get out of here?" Dr. Shepherd says, smiling as soon as she enters my room with a wheelchair, leaving the door open.

"Am I going home?" I ask as I sit straight and start moving in my bed.

"Not now, tomorrow," Amelia gets closer to my bed, pushing the wheelchair.

"So you're just going to torture me with that thing?"

Amelia throws her head back laughing. I frown and then I see Carina standing in the doorframe smiling at Amelia. I relax as soon as I see her beautiful face, she's still here and it means everything to me.

"Someone wants to take you out for a ride," Amelia says as she leans towards me and motions with her head to the door.

"I figured you wanted some fresh air," Carina says confident approaching the foot of my bed. But as she's getting closer she hesitates. "It doesn't have to be with me, Amelia can take you."

"I wanna go with you," I say looking at Carina.

"Ouch," Amelia dramatically bends down as if someone had punched her in the stomach. "You just broke my heart."

"You're so dramatic," Carina laughs and it doesn't go unnoticed to me that this is the first time since I woke up that I listen to a genuine laugh from her.

Carina's laugh and the way she interacts with Amelia takes me back to our first months of marriage. Amelia had been going through a rough patch personally and she started visiting us when she wanted a shoulder to cry on or when she was trying to take her mind off of things. Carina has always been so good at that, offering her friends a safe space for when they needed to talk, but also making everything lighter and peaceful without dwelling on whatever issues they might have.