Missed Times

Chapter Nine

I wake up startled, my breathing is heavy and my heart is beating so fast I have to put my hand over my chest as if I'm trying to stop it from coming out of it. I was dreaming, but I can't remember about what it was. This feeling doesn't go away though, I feel scared and sad. I look to the empty space next to me in bed and I wish Carina was here by my side.

After a trip to the bathroom, I walk out to the kitchen, and I realize I don't feel dizzy anymore. As I'm about to pour me some water I hear sobs coming from the guest bedroom. I leave the task and follow the sound. I rest my forehead on the door and I clearly hear it. Carina is crying and it breaks my heart.

Should I go in? I want so bad to make it better for her, to ease her pain. If it was me crying, I'm sure she would do it.

"Carina?," I ask knocking softly on the door.

"Um, yeah," Carina clears her throat. "I'll be right there."

Carina tries to sound like everything is all right, but I know it's not. She opens the door and she rubs her eyes.

"Sorry, I was asleep," Carina lies. "Are you okay?"

"You've been crying," I say taking Carina's hand and stroking it.

Her lips start trembling and she can't keep it together anymore. I'm not sure who took the first step, but we embrace each other and it seems like we both needed it.

Still in each other's arms I get inside the bedroom.

"Come here," I say pulling back from the hug and taking Carina's hand so she can sit down on the edge of the bed. I sit next to her and with my free hand I stroke her back.

"I'm sorry," Carina says wiping her tears away.

"You don't have to apologize for anything," I say getting close to her, and she looks at me.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," Carina sighs.

"You didn't, I was in the kitchen," I say still stroking Carina's back.

"Do you need something? I can get it to you," Carina stands up, and I grip her hand, stopping her from leaving the room.

"What I need is for you to talk to me," I softly say looking at Carina in the eyes. "Carina, I want to help you, I'll do anything."

"I'm fine, Maya," Carina deviates her eyes from mine. "It's just been a long day."

I set her hand free and I shake my head in frustration.

"Amelia said I should stay here tonight, but you shouldn't," I say trying not to give away my disappointment in case she takes up on my offer. "Go, be with your boyfriend, talk to him, let him comfort you until he eases your pain and makes you feel better."

"You're kicking me out?" Carina asks shocked.

"Of course not," I groan and cover my head with my hands. "I'm trying to make it easy for you, I know this is the last place you want to be right now."

"That's not true," Carina says adamantly.

"Carina, I heard when you told Amelia that me staying here was the worst for you, I tried to stay away, but my stupid brain is not working properly so I ended up bothering you."

I look back at Carina and I'm confused, she's smiling at me softly.

"Your brain is not stupid," Carina sits down next to me, one leg tucked under, her knee and torso pointing at me. "Is this why you went with Michelle?"

I slightly nod, I don't really want to admit it, but I don't want to lie to Carina either.

"You've been by my side since you came back from Italy and I selfishly let you," I lower my head, but Carina takes my chin and lifts it so I can look her in the eyes. "I didn't even ask how you felt about me staying here, I assumed you would be fine because you have been so nice to me, but after your talk with Amelia I realized you're nice to everybody and that doesn't mean you are okay with me being here."