Glass house

-14- Me (Nash's POV)

                I looked down at Conor who by now had fallen asleep in my arms. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach when she said she had a “bad time” last time, but i didn’t push. I never push. But because i never push, i know nothing about what her life is really like. Sure i know some things about her dad, her brother, where she works, where she lives, and stuff like that. But that’s all wikipedia information! It doesn’t take much to find out those things. I want so much more with her, i love her, we’ve been together for so long. First as friends, then as a couple. I don’t want to lose her, but we need more connection here. I stroked her face with the back of my fingers lightly. She’s so beautiful and delicate, and she means so much to me. I can’t just leave this. I don’t want to leave her either! It’s just i don’t feel the connection i should be at this point. I feel more like her best friend than her boyfriend. I felt her stir under me, then open her eyes.

                “Hey-oh- uh- are you okay?” She asked as she saw my face. I guess my thoughts were showing through my face.

                “Oh, yeah! Just thinking!” I slyly answered. She sat up.

                “Listen if the no sex thing bothered you you can tell me.” She sadly told me. I quickly wrapped my arms around her.

                “No! Baby girl, everything is fine.” I lied, hoping she wouldn’t notice. She smiled slightly and got up to check her phone.

                “Oh it’s like 10:30. Do you need to be home?” She asked. Does she not want me here?

                “Yeah, Cam is probably wondering where i am.” I lied a bit, standing up to hug her goodbye. After a quick hug and kiss i left and began to drive home. When i got home i was greeted by Cam, Matt, Hayes, and the Jacks. God this apartment holds so many people.

                “Hey bro! How was Conors? Did y’all get all freakayyy.” Hayes smirked at me, causing all the boys to laugh. Well except Matt, Matt seemed to just smile at the comment uncomfortably.

                “No.” I angrily replied, sitting down next to Gilinsky.

                “woah bro, chill. It was a joke.” Gilinisky commented.

                “No i know, but she said she didn’t wanna do it for long time. And like i respect that and all, but we’re lacking some real connection here.” I confessed. Cameron furrowed his brow.

                “Bro…” He just whispered under his breath.

                “you better not pressure her. She’s been through so much, we all know that, and the last thing she needs is a horny boyfriend trying to get with her all the time.” Matt spat. Everyone looked at him with surprise at his outburst of emotion. “Just saying.” He shrugged and became silent.

                “Yeah...Just like respect her boundaries.” Johnson closed. I nodded.

                “Yeah i know that, i’d never do anything to her without her consent but i don’t even feel like her boyfriend anymore. I feel like her best friend again. Maybe we need to end it.” I thought out loud.

                “C’mon Nash, you know you don’t wanna do that. She makes you so happy. Sex is just one tiny thing.” Hayes comforted me.

                “It wouldn’t just be sex for us though. It would be two people connecting in the closest way possible. I don’t just wanna get in her pants, i want to love her.” I tried explaining to my little virgin brother. Well i hope he’s a virgin anyways.

                “I get what you’re saying. But this is nothing to break up with her over. We’re leaving for tour on Friday, so you won’t even have time to think about it. Just go to bed man, relax.” Cameron advised.

                “Yeah okay. Thanks guys.” I submitted and went into my room. I took my shirt off and slipped into some sweats, then slipped between the covers and closed my eyes. Almost instantly, i fell asleep.