Glass house

-8- Small Crime

        We arrived to an empty apartment. Nash threw his keys onto the counter and sighed, walking over to the couch and laying on it. I stood awkwardly in the kitchen area. Is this all too much for him? Should I suggest we try starting this later? Oh god, he looks so upset…

        “You okay?” I asked, taking baby steps in his direction. He sat up and looking at me with an exasperated look.

        “I should be asking you that!? I mean, you have so much to decide on, so much to think about. You have someones life in your hands. Your little, cute, adorable hands that don’t deserve all that weight.” He ranted. I silently accepted his words, bowing my head in silence and self pity while he spoke.  He sighed. “Of course I’m okay…but are you?” He sat up and looked at me seriously. My focus remained on the ground as my thoughts consumed me. I can’t believe dad put ME in charge of all this. After all he’s done to me. Figures. What do I do? Is it cold hearted to just pull the plug and move on? What do I do? Nash interrupted my thoughts. “Conor?” He stood up, walking over towards me and taking my hands. I looked up to him, his blue eyes sparkled in the midday sunlight.

        “I’m not. Nothing about this is okay.” I confessed quietly. “But I have you; a loving, kind, genuine, and whole-hearted boyfriend. Who I know is gonna stand by my side and help me. So I may not be okay, but I’m going to be.” I reassured him, pulling him into a tight hug.

        “Here sit.” He pulled away and pulled out a chair for me. I sat down quietly. He walked into the kitchen and began to pull out two mugs. After a few moments of silence, he spoke. “What kind of tea do you like?” He asked, his hand reaching for a cupboard.

        “Oh uh, whatever you have I’ll probably be fine with.” I nonchalantly informed him.

        “Okay.” He replied, pulling out two tea bags.

        After making tea and sitting down, he began to speak to me again. To be honest I feel like a child with him talking to me so seriously.

        “Alright, lets think about this.” He began. “What do you think you might do? I doesn’t have to be certain, but what are you leaning towards?” He asked, his large hands covering the mug as he took a careful sip.

        “I-um…Maybe I’ll just let him live on. Like a vegetable.” I hesitated.

        “Is that what you want?” He asked, wanting to make sure I actually wanted to do that.

        “It’s what he’d want me to do.” I whispered, disappearing into my drink.

        “But is it what you want. Do you think it’s right?” He urged.

        “I just don’t know. I don’t wanna just kill him! I can’t just kill my own father like that! I mean he’s my dad-well, not really. But still!” I angrily shouted. Nash bit his lip, trying to hold back his fire.

        “Conor, to me it’s just unfair for you to fight so hard to keep him alive when he’s practically killing you.” He confessed. That’s what I loved most about Nash, his honesty and straightforward manner.

        “I know it’s unfair.” I agreed. “But I don’t know what else to do!” I yelled in frustration. Suddenly my phone buzzed in my pocket.

        Matt: Come upstairs, now.

        My heart lurched. Did he hear all this? What’s about to happen? What does he even mean? I ignored the text and continued to speak to Nash.

        “He gave me life, he’s in my blood. He’s my father, Nash, I can’t just pull the plug on him because of a few silly mistakes he made.” I tried to calm down. My phone buzzed again.

        Matt: I can literally hear you talking, come upstairs to my room RIGHT NOW CONOR THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!

        Again, my heart fluttered in fear. So he can hear me.

        “He called you a mistake, kicked you out, abused you, and maybe even other things you’re not telling me. Those aren’t a few silly mistakes conor, those are a great deal of big mistakes.” He argued. I saw the passion in his eyes, the ferocity of his protection for me. My phone buzzed, snapping me from my trance. I looked down at it angrily.

        Matt: I swear to god Conor I will drag you up here myself!

        I quickly replied.

        Me: Hold your balls matt, I’ll be up in a few chill…

        “Who’s that?” Nash asked, noticing my anger and discomfort.

        “I have to take a call real quick.” I sighed, getting up.

        “Alright.” Nash said, pulling out his phone and scrolling through twitter. I silently walked over to the stairs and pretended to call someone. When i got to the stairs i walked only for a few moments before arrive to the door i first found Matt in this morning. I took a breath and entered the room.