Glass house

-9- This Is Not What I Do

        When I entered Matt’s room, he was awkwardly sitting on the bed.

        “Hey.” I slowly closed the door behind me.

        “Hey.” He answered sadly.

        “What’s wrong?” I asked, getting onto the bed and sitting next to him.

        “I heard yelling.” He looked at me with a serious expression.

        “Oh.” I sighed, slouching my shoulders.

        “What’s wrong with your father?” He asked, looking at me with sad eyes.

        “He’s in the hospital, he’s brain dead. It’s up to me to decide what’s next.” I confessed, looking back into his dark soulful eyes.

        “What do you wanna do?” He pondered.

        “I want to pull the plug, but I also wanna fight. I mean, he’s my father! He gave me life, he gave me everything! I want him to fight and wake up so I can tell him just how I feel.” I angrily begin. Matt closed his eyes and sighed.

        “And what would you say?” He pushed on.

        “I’d say something along the lines of, Hey dad. You don’t get to die this easily. You, of all people, don’t get to just say goodbye when you want to. You don’t get to go away painlessly while Joshua and I are left here to pick up your pieces in pain and agony. You made me worthless. You made me untouchable. You put my scars on my body, not me. You put me in therapy. You are the one who killed mom, not me. You are the one who killed me. You are not getting out this easily.” I angrily spat. I straightened myself out and looked at matt. “That’s what I would say.” I finished. Matt calmly took my hand into his and squeezed, saying nothing. And to be honest, that’s all I needed. Just someone there. After a few minuets he began to speak.

        “You know, he may be your father, but he doesn’t really sound like your dad.” He blurted. His voice calm and soothing. “What I’m trying to say is that he may have given you life, but he also abused you. He tore you apart piece by piece, and this just makes it worse. He’s messing with you, Conor. He knows you, he knows how you work, he wants to manipulate you. He knew this would kill you, so he made sure it would happen.” Matt tried to explain, his arm around my shoulders. I put my hand on his and looked at him in awe.

        “You just helped me more than anybody else ever has, and you don’t even know the full story.” I practically gasped. Matt giggled and hugged me.

        “I have a habit of reading people and figuring things out. But seriously, think about what I said. Alright?” He asked me, looking into my eyes.

        “Alright.” I smiled, getting up from the bed. I stopped in the doorway and turned to Matt. “Thank you Matt, really, thank you.” I sincerely thanked him then walked down the stairs. Nash still sat in the same position.

        “Everything okay?” He asked, looking up at me.

        “Yeah, it was just Joshua trying to help me decide.” I sighed, sitting back down.

        “Oh…What does he want you to-“

        “I’m pulling the plug.” I blurted out, interrupting his question.

        “You’re what?” He almost screamed. “Conor!” He leaned forward in disbelief.

        “I’m pulling the plug, tomorrow.” I boldly told him, sitting up straight.

        “Why?” He quietly asked, sitting back once again.

        “Why do you seem so upset?” I shot back defensively.

        “I don’t know...It’s just like, I don’t know, you’re killing him.” He uncertainly whispered.

        “Do you not understand what he’s done to my brother and i?” I raised my voice, a tidal wave of words about to hit Nash.

        “I do.” Nash quietly sighed, regretting his upset reaction.

        “Really? Cause it seems like you don’t, Nash. I need you to be with me, please.” I cried, standing up and walking over to the window to calm down. He followed me.

        “Look, I’m sorry.” He began, trailing behind me. “I am one hundred percent with you through all of this babe.” My heart melted at the word ‘babe’.

        “I’m sorry for yelling.” I sighed, turning to him. He grabbed my waist and pulled me close, his right hand supporting my chin lightly.

        “Don’t be.” He leaned in closer until his lips just grazed against mine. “I love you.” He whispered.

        “I love you too.” I confessed, locking my lips onto his. Suddenly, the door swung open.

        “NA-oh umh.” Cameron awkwardly walked in with the Jacks. They all stood there in shock. Johnson suddenly spoke up.

        “Yo I thought you said you were just friends!?” He screamed. Nash and I blushed and laughed.

        “This is a new thing, I swear.” I put my hands up defensively. Cameron shook his head and laughed.

        “Totally saw it coming.” He laughed under his breath. I bit my lip in embarrassment and buried my head into Nash’s chest.

        “Congrats though!” Gilinsky happily ran over to us and engulfed us in a giant hug.

        “Thanks man.” Nash laughed.

        Matt came back down at the sound of exciting chatter.

        “Hey guys!” He cheered.

        “Hey!” The boys all waved. Matt sat down on a stool.

        “So did you hear about Nash and Conor?” Gilinsky popped a chip into his mouth, thinking he was so cool knowing something Matt didn’t.

        “Actually, yes.” Matt smirked, shooting a wink to Nash and I. Nash looked at me in surprise.

        “You told Matt?” He asked. I blushed.

        “It may have slipped this morning.” I shrugged giggling.

        “hmmmm.” Cameron hummed in suspicion. I ignored it.

        Soon enough, the topic of Nash and I became old news and our chatter was filled with other drama and happenings. After a while I checked my phone.

        “Woah, it’s 6:30.” I stated, turning to Nash. “Can you drive me home? I have to get a good nights rest before tomorrow.” I told him, forgetting that the other boys had no idea what I was talking about.

        “What’s tomorrow?” The Jacks said at the same time. Creepy.

        “Just a family event.” I shrugged it off, looking over to Matt who sympathetically nodded.

        “Yeah I can drive you, you have everything?” Nash walked over to grab his keys. I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked towards him.

        “Yep!” I cheered, heading for the door. “Bye guys! See you soon!” I yelled, waving goodbye to all the boys.

        “Bye!” They all waved.

        Nash dropped me off at home and kissed my goodnight before leaving. Exhausted, I flopped down onto my bed and closed my eyes, instantly falling asleep.