Glass house

-7- To Live Without a Lifeline

        Nash and I pulled up to the hospital at around noon, Joshua waited for us outside the front entrance like he did the night before. I sighed as I hugged him.

        “Hey Joshie.” I rested my head on his shoulder, allowing myself to melt into his hug for a bit. He squeezed me tightly.

        “Hey Conman.” He breathed, his voice bringing me comfort. He pulled away and greeted Nash with a wave.

        “Nice to see you Nash.” He greeted. I smiled at how he was starting to warm up to Nash. Is this a good time to tell Joshua that Nash and I are together? Probably not.

        “So why do I have to be here?” I interrupted the silence.

        “There’s something we have to uh……think about.” He stumbled. “Let’s just go inside, Dr.Shepherd is a lot better at explaining things than I am.” He suggested.

        “Yeah okay, lets go I guess.” I suspiciously agreed, walking into the double doors.

        Once we got up to my dads room, I was greeted by a tall dark-haired doctor.

        “Hi, Are you Conor Mabry?” He asked.

        “Uh yeah.” I replied, looking over at my dad hooked up to machines and wires. I sighed as the doctor continued to speak.

        “I’m Dr.Shepherd, head of neuro, I need to talk to you about your father.” He introduced himself, shaking my hand. I just looked at him, then back to my father, then to Joshua, and finally to Nash. I took a deep breath.

        “I suppose that’s fine. What’s going on?” I asked.

        “When your father collapsed, he hit his head on the corner of a counter of some sort…” He began to speak softly. “When that happened, his brain suffered extreme damage.” He continued.

        “So?” I interjected, waiting for him to get to the point.

        “We took him into surgery once he arrived here…” He sighed. “Unfortunately, we couldn’t save his brain in time….I’m sorry Ms.Mabry, but your father is brain dead.” He informed me gravely.

        “How do you know?” I questioned, still not deciding how to feel and why this concerns me to the extent of me having to come here.

        “According to the EEG’s we took on your father, there is little to no activity In his brain.” He spoke gently, giving me time to process.

        “So? Why did you guys need me here so urgently?” I somewhat angrily asked. Joshua walked over to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder ask Dr.Shepherd spoke.

        “Your father has it in his directive for you to make the call.” He sighed, running his hands through his thick curly hair. My jaw dropped In shock.

        “Are you kidding me?” I burst out, throwing my hands in the air and walking towards my dad’s bed. “Are you fucking serious?” I yelled at him, knowing he couldn’t hear me one bit. “Why? Why would you do this to me? Haven’t you done enough?” I sat down in the chair next to his bed, placing my hands over my face. The tears never came. I looked up at Dr.Shepherd. “Can’t Joshua just do it?” I begged.

        “That would be against your father’s directive, I’m sorry, but it’s up to you.” He reassured me. I ran my hands through my still slightly damp hair. Dr.Shepherd walked over to me and placed his hand on my back. “I’ll give you a little bit to think about what you want to do. If you want to talk to me about options, just ask a nurse to find me and I’ll talk to you right away.” He smiled, patting me on the back before walking away.

        “Wait.” I yelled as he was in the doorway. He turned around and hummed in curiosity. “Can you just tell me my options now?” I questioned, standing up. He stepped back into the room and crossed his arms, leaning against the doorway.

        “Option 1; continued giving him life sustaining treatment and keep him alive for as long as possible.” He began. “Option 2; Donate his organs for medical research and transplants for other people who need specific organs.” He continued. He sighed and looked at the floor. “Or option 3; pull the plug.” He finished in a whisper.

        “I’ll get back to you soon.” I nodded. Dr.Shepherd smiled kindly and walked out of the room, leaving me with Nash and Joshua.

        “Conor you don’t have to make a decision today you know…” Joshua tried to comfort me.

        “I know.” I informed him, staring at my dad’s lifeless body. The buzzing and humming of machines filling the silence.

        “Do you want to come back to my house and think about it? Or I can drop you off back home….” Nash spoke quietly. I quietly took out my phone and dialed Mia’s number, Nash’s words still circulating in my mind along with everything else.

        “Hello?” Her cheerful voice chimed through the other end.

        “Uh hey It’s Conor.”  I awkwardly greeted.

        “Oh hey! What do ya need?” She asked, a bit of concern falling over her voice.

        “I don’t have Jennets number…Can you give her mine and have her call me?” I asked, knowing that it sounded weird that I didn’t have my boss’ own number.

        “Sure…Do you want me to just talk to her and have her call you to make things easier?” She suggested.

        “Yeah, that would be awesome!” I smiled, perking up slightly.

        “So what’s up?” She asked.

        “My dad’s in the hospital, I’m gonna need to take a few days off.” I blankly informed her.

        “Oh wow. I’m so sorry.”

        “Yeah.” I answered, sighing.

        “well um yeah, I’ll talk to her.

        “Thanks.” I answered, beginning to hang up.”

        “Hey…Call me if you need anything okay?” Mia quickly told me.

        “Alright. Thanks. Bye.” I hung up and looked at the two boys staring at me.

        “K lets go.” I commanded Nash, he looked at me in confusion.

        “Wait so…” Joshua began hesitantly.

        “I’m taking a few days off work to think, for now they’ll just have to keep him alive I don’t know. But for now, I’m going to go over to Nash’s house. You can join us later if you want.” I informed my brother.

        “I’ll call you.” He mumbled, sitting in the chair next to my father. He stared blankly at the body in the bed.

        “Alright, lets go.” I snatched Nash’s hand and we walked out of the hospital room together.        

        “Do you want to talk about it?” Nash asked in a whisper.

        “Not here. Not now.” I breathed in, trying to stay calm. I’m done crying over my dad. I’m done crying in general.

        “Okay…” Nash sighed as we exited the hospital. “let’s go back to my house.” He smiled and pecked my lips before we braved the world outside the hospital.

        “Let’s go back to your house.” I echoed as we disappeared into the LA sunlight.