hassling hayden

freedom

you were woken by the yells of your mom. "y/n get your lazy ass out of bed your plane leaves at 11!"

you groaned and stretched before slumping out of bed to the bathroom. your hair was a rats nest. your curls were covering your eyes almost. but you could honestly care less at this point.

you took your morning piss and washed your face. you then grabbed the suitcase you'd packed the night before and headed downstairs. for clothes you just wore an oversized brown sweater with baggy blue mom jeans.

"move it, slowpoke." your mom joked as you slowly dragged your feet, and suitcase, across the kitchen. you ignored her and grabbed a waffle, then heading outside.

a yellow cab was waiting for you.

the man who drove the cab smiled kindly and you and gestured to grab your bag. you handed it to him and he threw it in the trunk.

then you heard footsteps from behind you. you turned around to be thrown aback by your moms grasp. she held you tightly, so you held her back.

"be safe pumpkin. and be good for your uncle. i love you." she choked out between cries. tears began to glide down your face at her words.

"i will. i love you mom." you mumbled into her shoulder. you held eachother for a few moments more before pulling out and smiling.

you grabbed her hands. "you gonna be okay?" you questioned her. she sniffed and laughed. "don't worry about me. i've got laura." she brightly smiled at you.

laura was your moms best friend. since you'd be staying at your uncles for awhile, laura would stay with your mom to keep her company.

she took off her large square glasses to wipe some tears from her eyes. you gave her a warm smile and gave her a reassuring squeeze to her hands.

"take care of yourself." she pleaded. you gave her a nod and let go of her hands. you opened the cab door and got in.

"ready?" the driver remarked. you took a quick glance at your mother, now having her head in her hands.

"ya." you mumbled.

as you drove to the airport you watched all the people pass by on the streets. downtown los angles was full of all kinds of people, and you found enjoyment in people watching. you were more of an outsider than an outgoing individual.

you began wondering what your uncle would be like. you hadn't seen him since you were 15 and you were 26 now. over 10 years. you'd seen pictures and heard stories about his accomplishments as a lawyer, so it's not like you were worried that he would be lame.

he was your beloved moms older brother, he had to be cool.

all you know at this point was that he was working on a big case. about the riots in chicago in 68. youd been to several riots in new york but it never got nearly as violent and chaotic that it did in chicago.

but you were definitely looking forward to meeting the famous abbie hoffman. you knew that you'd get along with him.

you as well knew that you would be allowed to attend the trial. if you wanted. but it's not like it was your choice to move in with your uncle. you were basically forced.

last may, you made a mistake. a mistake that ended you up treatment for the whole entire summer.

in the past few years, you'd gotten into very intense drugs. basically your whole life you'd smoked weed, but i'm talking like herion and coke.

while in your first year of college at berkeley, you met a group of people who you felt were your people. the next year you dropped out and started to live with them in a van. yeah. a van.

you had so much fun with them. you loved having all the freedom you wanted. you hated being bossed around.

there were 2 boys and one girl (not counting you). jakob, marty and angie.

you traveled all over the country in your big ass van. you made many friends along the way. it was the best 2 years of your life. but soon after, you moved back to la, you fell into a large slump.

you'd been sleeping around with all kinds of people, and you were always high. you were ALWAYS high. you definitely do remember one guy you'd hooked up with a few times, having sex with you while you were in and out of consciousness. which fucked you up kinda.

you were already fucked, but it added on. you'd been depressed all your life but it was getting worse. your anxiety was so bad that you started to use herion. it got you so high that you didn't have to think anymore really.

you partied all night and slept all day. it wasn't a healthy lifestyle, but you were having fun.

during all this your mother still lived in new york. she was so worried about you and you never connected with her. she thought you could've died. she never heard from you. you will always regret that.

but then, may came around.

you do not remember too much but you belived what you were told.

one night, while high on heroin, you apparently attempted to end your life. you attempted slitting your own throat with a knife.

you didnt cut deep enough to die, but you were close.

you woke up 5 days later in a hospital room. you moved back in with your mom after 4 months of being in a physc ward.

you now have to take a drug test every other day. and were on several pills for depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety and god knows what else. you had been sober for a month. and you fucking hated it. feelings un-numb to you was so unfamiliar and dreadful for you.

you struggled so much and stayed in your room all day. but it's not like you had any freedom in what you did. you were under supervision and had a curfew and everything.

your mom was a cool ass mom, she just wanted you to be safe. but she noticed you were sad. that you were not any happier than you were before.

so, your mom talked to your uncle will and arranged for you to come up and live with him during the trial. so you had something to do? your mom also just needed a break from you. which you understood.

you sighed as you leaned your head on the window of the cab. you hoped and hoped that will would be an easy person to live with. you hoped he'd let you atleast smoke. you hoped he'd let you go out. you hoped he'd just let you have your own freedom.

because where's the fun in no freedom, yknow?