Together (Frerard, Petekey, Ryden)

5. The Drawing

Gerard searched frantically.

"Where the fuck is it?" he exclaimed, tearing up his closet.

"Gerard!" Mikey appeared in the doorway, fed up with the angry groans coming from his brothers room. "What the hell are you looking for?"

"My sketch book!" Gerard cried, not looking up from the messy closet floor as he searched. He pushed piles of dirty clothes to the side. He really needed to clean his room.

Mikey laughed.

"It's on the coffee table." He said, shaking his head.

Gerard glared up at Mikey from the floor. He huffed, and went to retrieve his precious book.

He brought the book back to the room and sat in the bed, the book placed in front of him. He stared at the coffee stained cover and gingerly opened it to the last unfinished drawing he had and cringed.

After seeing Frank, Gerard couldn't get the tiny man off his mind. He had went home and began to draw, only to realize that every single fucking picture, was of Frank somehow. Whether it was the eyes, the lips, the eyebrows, something always resembled Frank. Which is why Gerard decided he would draw a full portrait of Frank from memory. You know, to get it out of his system.

As if that would work.

He had drawn the outline and was now adding shading. He added shadows around Frank's eyes first. Smudging delicately. Then he moved to the lips.

The scary thing for Gerard, was that without even looking at a reference picture, the lips were an almost identical representation of Frank's. The shape, the shading, Gerard even got the lips to look moistened. Like he had just licked them.

Just like he used to do before he kissed Gerard.

Gerard shook his head, trying to get the thought out of his mind.

Gerard put down his pencil and looked at the drawing. He bit his tongue and squeezed his eyes shut. The drawing wasn't perfect, but anyone could tell it was Frank. Gerard opened his eyes and clenched his fists.

"Just fucking great." Gerard muttered to himself and stared angrily at his creation. It turned out that this drawing really hadn't gotten Frank out of his system. It actually kind of made everything feel worse. He reached under his pillow where he stashed his bottle of whiskey.

"Hey Ge- whoa are you okay?" Mikey conveniently appeared in the door way of Gerard's room before Gerard could begin to drown himself with alcohol. Gerard quickly sat up and withdrew his hand from under the pillow.

"What do you mean?" Gerard asked bitterly "And don't you know how to knock?"

"You're crying." Mikey said it almost like a question. It was only then that Gerard realized that his cheeks did feel moist.

"Oh." was all Gerard could muster as he wiped his eyes frantically, like Mikey would forget what he had seen.

Of course Mikey didn't, and he came to sit down on the bed beside Gerard.

"What's up Gerard?" Mikey asked gently, putting a supportive hand on his older brother's shoulder.

Gerard gestured in front of him to the drawing. Mikey looked at it and shook his head.

"Fuck that asshole honestly Gerard." Mikey said bitterly and Gerard, a mature responsible adult, snickered.

"Been there done that." Gerard said, already lightening up a bit.

"Ew ok that's not what I meant." Mikey said, rubbing his eyes, trying to rid himself of mental images of his brother and Frank doing the nasty right where he sat. "You really don't need him to be happy Gerard." Mikey got serious again.

"Yeah but I just really fucking miss him, Mikey. He was a huge part of my life for so long, and now I just feel empty. I don't want to feel this way. Believe me, I don't. But there's nothing I can do about it." Gerard stared down at his hands, avoiding eye contact with Mikey after having admitted all that.

Mikey was silent for a moment. Thinking of a reply that would be sufficient enough.

"You're your own person. Right?" Mikey asked. Gerard nodded. "Then it shouldn't be as big of deal as it is to you. It's been six weeks Gerard. It's time to show the world how independent you can be. Go to the bar, meet a guy, bring him home. I don't care. It's just really sad seeing you mope around all the time."

"I can't go to the bar Mikey." Gerard said, he felt exhausted all of a sudden.

"I'll go with you Gee. It'll be like old times." Mikey smiled a genuine smile, and really how could Gerard refuse that? Still he tried.

"How would I pick up a guy at the bar?" Gerard was really trying to wriggle his way out of this. "I wouldn't even know if he was into guys! And contrary to popular belief, a gaydar, does not in fact exist."

"Um have you heard of gay bars?" Mikey said sarcastically. Gerard raised an eye brow, of course he had. He was a flaming homo!

"You're going to go to a gay bar with me?" Gerard questioned. Mikey nodded. "But you're straight!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically.

"As a pole." Mikey agreed. Gerard looked at him questioningly. "Just because I'm at a gay bar, doesn't mean I need to bring a guy home Gee. And hey, maybe I'll have some weird sexual awakening where I realize "Hey, maybe I am gay!"" Mikey laughed. He had no fucking clue.

"Fine." Gerard huffed. He had no clue what he was getting himself into.