LETTERS TO YOUR GRAVE

CHAPTER 06

[UNEDITED]
EMAYA'S P.O.V

People leave more than they stay. It's just how it is. I'm depressed..I have insomnia and I don't know what life is anymore. Living is tiring..it's exhausting..it feels like a chore. I wish I could just run away or get run over by a truck, I don't know either one sounds fine.

I was standing in the edge of our school's terrace, makes me wonder why people have a fear of heights ..would they feel like they're falling to their deaths or falling in an endless void? Then again I wonder about too many things. I can't help it..I have extra time. Thinking about extras, that new student, Raidyn Skye was it? He reminds me of a couple of years back, when things were okay.

"We're the protagonist of our own story. Live your life to the fullest...Okay?"  Such a hypocrite.

We're merely surviving really...just to die one day, except..some die too soon...

I looked up at the clear blue sky, the silver lining's clearly fading for me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the breeze.

: :

I was just walking towards the Math room when I heard someone call my name.

"Hey! Ema! You got a minute?"

I turned towards the voice to see Ronan standing there with a raised hand and a small smile on his face. Ronan West, one of my close friends, I tried pushing him away too but, he and Sakura are both stubborn. It's annoying yet and an okay presence.. I guess.

"Ronan." I acknowledged. I looked around. "Where's Skye and Sakura?"

"Ah..Canadian ramen head and her went to fill up his volleyball club form so.. I guess they're in the main office right now." Ronan said as we both entered the Math room.

The class was still filling up. Whatever, we got twenty minutes to go anyways. I looked at Ronan after I kept my things in my seat.

"What did you want to talk about?"

Ronan sighed and spoke softly. "Do you really think he didn't forgive you?"

I felt my breath hitching.

Ronan smiled softly and looked out the big window. "You and I. Both of us know Kaz. Ema, he was panicking...hyperventilating even and you couldn't pick up the call."

The room suddenly felt suffocating.

"You know that if you could..you'd be there for him in a heart beat. You've always been there."

I was running. I kept on running. This can't be goodbye....not yet...we didn't have enough time... It's not over yet!  Where are you??? Baby..WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!? FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!! I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry!!

Suddenly I saw a crowd of people...looking...up?
I turned my head upwards. My eyes widened.

I saw a body falling...a body..falling..a...body...

KAZ FALLING.

He saw me...before he hit the ground right in front of me....I could hear his bones crack...he saw me... and he gave me a painful...smile...

I wasn't there for him...this is my...fault? I fell on my knees and screamed.

"He obviously doesn't blame you."

I could feel my senses return as I heard Ronan say that. I looked up at him as he looked back at me.

"He might not have considered me a friend...but I did.."

He did Ronan..he did think of you as his closest friend.

"He was one of the best teammates and friend.. well..to me atleast. A pretty damn good ace too."
He chuckled.

"You say that he hasn't forgiven you..how could he?" Ronan asked.

I looked down..yeah how could Kaz ever forgive me...I didn't pick up his call..I couldn't-

Ronan snapped me out of my thoughts.

"How could he? When you didn't even forgive yourself?"

My eyes widened as I stared at him, "What?"

Ronan's eyes softened. "It was not even your fault to begin with."

I just stared...it's not?

Just then I heard Sakura's voice.

"Oh! Em! You're here already. Ahaha, I was helping  Rai with filling his club form, though he figured pretty much everything by himself."

I saw Skye standing behind Sakura only to notice that he was already looking at me.

I looked away.

: :

I hate math. I always have and always will. What the fuck am I supposed to do with these dumb equations? I'm not bad at it, I'm really not, but there's just too many numbers.

"That brain of yours not workin anymore or..?"

I laid my head down on my book and exhaled. I'm tired. What's this B U L L S H I T? First Math and then now fucking Skye as my bench mate.

I've already smacked Ronan atleast ten times in my mind. Asshole made Sakura sit with his oh so glorious self because they obviously missed one another after not seeing eachother for like an hour.

I chose to ignore Skye cus, yeah...no I'm not dealing with this.

"Stop ignoring me. We have to do this worksheet together because we're bench mates, and you're not getting free marks without doing shit."

I slowly lifted my head up, sighed and put my very messy hair in a ponytail.

Ronan turned back to look at us, "Hey do any of you-"

I glared at him.

"Okay, no. I'm not getting myself buried six feet under, because if looks could hit someone in the balls like ten times, I would definitely fall victim to that form of torture. I still wanna have kids with Sakura, thank you." Ronan said as he quickly turned back to his own work.

"Bro you're fucking weird." Sakura commented.

"I know bro." He replied.

I looked at Skye. "Mmm, let's get this thing over with."

"Okay. So like..there are 25 questions here..hmm, you do the first 12 and I'll do the remaining 13. You look like you need some sleep anyways. I'll take the extra 1." He said nonchalantly.

I paused.

"You look like you're sleep deprived Eya." He laughed lightly.

I just shrugged my shoulders.

He chuckled and shook his head, "You do the first ten , I'll do the rest. There's just 22 anyways, I'll do the extra 2."

"Okay."

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(A/N: Tragic huh? This is where the real story starts my beautiful smellies. I'll see you next time, byeeee. I LOVE YOUUUUU.)

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