A misclick

I needed him

FIESTA SALSA QUINCEAÑERA HELLO BITCHES I'VE BEEN WAITING TO POST THIS CHAPTER FOR SO LONG BECAUSE I WAS IN HOLIDAY IN TURKEY AND I HAD NO WIFI WHATSOEVER LMAOO. Anyways enjoy this dramatic chapter and btw CW!! ALCOHOL USE AND ITS EFFECTS!!!.

—-y/n's POV—-

My mind was a blur. In every sort of way. I got sensory overload from all the chaotic things happening around and inside me. (a/n had you for a hot second didn't I)

The flashing red lights on the club's bathroom wall were blinding my sight as all I could do is feel. Feel the alcohol break any sort of control and self awareness as I felt the primal instincts lead me. Feel my breath hitch as Alex was biting along my collarbone, leaving marks that I only later got aware of. His hands tracing my shapes and curves, searching for something impossible to find. My hands tangling between his locks, pulling at his hair in a way that was impossible to not cause him pain, but probably being too intoxicated and driven by lust to feel it.

It was just the two of us losing our minds in the narrow bathroom covered in red led lights, that quackity pushed me in when we noticed Sapnap taking a picture. At that time ,with the thinking ability that a brain dead person would overtake, I didn't do the correlations, and so I didn't feel any guilt from the realization that Clay saw me making out with Alex in a more aggressive way than we ever did. All I could do is just keep clinging onto the dark haired man, because I knew that he was my only cure from not feeling the effects of alcohol.

Alex pulled at my tank top's strap, sliding it a bit across my sweaty shoulder. My breath hitched in surprise, realizing what he was about to do. I look up at him, and he looks down to give me a deep gaze into my eyes. Sweat was dripping down his chin, as he was panting severely, his cold breath fanning over  tt omy neck. He looked...attractive. It hurt me to accept the fact that i've been missing all along how hot and tempting he was. He digs his face into my cheek and whispers against my ear, making my whole body shiver.

'You. Have. No idea how goddamn hot you look right now. Your pretty makeup smudged and your body panicking, trying to catch its breath.' I feel my heart stutter as he leaves my cheek with a kiss and returns to my top strap. His finger traces my collarbone softly and leads the strap along with it. He then stops. He looks back up at me, an even deeper stare shooting my eyes. He then yanks his head back and groans in what seemed to be annoyance.

'God FUCKING dammit!' I flinch as he yells out. He looks back at me, his eyes now set on fire. I could see the flaming rage that was blooming and spreading across his glare and still wouldn't be able to notice the reason. He puts his hand on my cheek, my body burning in fear of what was about to happen.

'I love you Y/n. God fucking murder me if I don't. And even now, with my brain numbed by alcohol and any sense of guiltiness gone, even now, I can still see that you don't feel the same way about me. I know you love me. But not in the way I want you to. Even now, with your makeup spread  all over your face by my own lips, with your collarbone being marked by my own teeth, even in this fucking circumstance I can see who you belong to. You're Clay's. And you will always be, no matter how fucking hard I try to make you see what I feel about you.'

I don't know what to say. I'm stuck in place, trying to find a proper way to respond to his words. But eventually, I don't need to. He takes his hands off me and leaves the room without even looking at me. I remain alone, standing against the dusty black wall the he pinned me to with his hands, just a couple minutes earlier. The flashing red lights were now just making me dizzy, not giving me shots of lust directly into my blood.

"You are Clay's." What does he even mean? I'm not his, not anymore. If I ever was. I liked the idea of him owning me on every level. The way my body heated up whenever he would pay attention to me on streams, the way hw towered over me and sent cold shivers down my spine. But not anymore. Maybe all of that was fake. A product of my imagination. I felt weird.