loving you || rafe cameron

chapter one

sophia's pov

    don't mess up sophia.
i say while entering my dance studio.
i set my bag down and enter my dance teachers office.
"oh sophia, you made it today!" my dance teacher says, while looking up from her desk to meet her eyes with mine.
"mrs willbarry! i am so sorry for not being at practice recently, a lot of problems just randomly came and i didn't know how to handle them. i kinda, shut everyone out for a while, you know? i'm so sorry." i say on the verge of crying.
"honey, honey it's okay. calm down" she says while walking over to me.
she hugs me. i put my head in her chest sobbing.
ever since my mom died, and my dad left, i've never actually had a real parent, but my dance teacher is like a mother to me. she has always been there for me.
"your okay, your okay honey." she said rubbing my back. "do you want to talk about it?"
i lifted myself off her chest and pulled away from the hug. "if it doesn't take up your time, yes please."
she sat me down and gave me some tea. i don't like tea so i pretend to drank it.
"what happened?" she said sitting across from me.
"me, john b, kiera, pope and jj went out for a boat ride a few weeks ago, jj and i got into a huge fight and i don't know what to do. he's like a brother to me i- i could never loose him right?"
she nodded her head and let me continue before saying anything.
"so i go to his house, and he's so drunk. i'm talking blacked out drunk. i tried talking to him and he screamed at me. i'm so sensitive so i ran out bawling." tears were crowding my eyes so bad i could hardly see.
"sophia hey, it's okay. you guys have been friends for so long, he will definitely come around again." she said, confirming me.
she was right, but if i'm being totally m, completely 100% honest, i didn't just see jj as a friend.
i like him. and i mean a lot. like i never realized my feelings for him until everything happened. and you might be thinking, sophia, your being a little dramatic, he was drunk he didn't know what he was saying. and yes, i agree with you. but i left out a part in the story.
when jj was yelling at me, i started bawling, right? he told me to stop being to emotional and i told him i can't. he yelled and asked why, but then i accidentally told him. "BECAUSE IM IN LOVE WITH YOU JJ!" i quickly ran out of his house after realizing what is sud and before i could get his reaction.
i haven't spoken with him since.
"hey, i know what can make you feel better!" my dance teacher said. "let's go dance."
she was right like always. dancing makes me feel better about everything, my thoughts, worry's go away. it feels like i'm just one with the world.
"you gotta catch up on those classes anyways, come on, let's go." she said, pulling me up. i smiled and followed her into the studio.

after being at the studio all day, i fall into my bed.
john b knocks in my bedroom door and lets himself in. "hey" he said "you okay?"
"yeah, better than normal." i said, turning towards him.
me and john b both are parentless, we met at foster care, and found a way to sneak out. now we live with each other, hiding from cps.
"we all know you haven't been the best lately, so i brought everyone here!"
before i could react, kie and pope walk in first. seeing them made me so happy, i've missed them and felt bad for shutting them out. but then jj walked in after them. my whole mood changed. how can i see him again after telling him that. i was hoping he wouldn't remember since he was so drunk, but he clearly did. looking deeply into his crystal blue eyes i could tell he remembered.
"sophia! i've missed you so much!" kiera said running up to hug me. "kie! hi i missed you!" "hey sophia! we've missed you." pope says. "pope hi! i've missed you guys so so much." i said getting you to hug pope. when we released the hug jj was right next to him. "hey jj!" i said, faking a smile. "hey sophia!" he said leaning into a hug.
"do you guys want to go on the boat or something? it's almost sunset and we haven't done this altogether in what feels like forever" john b says. "yeah that'd be fun!" i said smiling.  
when everyone was walking out to leave the room jj pulled me back. "can we talk really quick" i turn around and face him. "are you guys coming?" kie said. "yeah yeah, one second." i said replying back to her.
"i remember a little when i was drunk, and one of the things i remembered was that i was yelling at you, which i am so sorry for and i hope we can move in from that." "oh yeah totally! it's not a big deal i haven't really thought about it since." i was clearly lying. i thought about it every single day and he probably knows that's the reason i shut everyone out. "yeah, and i also remember another part.." oh no, here it comes i thought to myself. "did you-" he sighs a little bit. "did you tell me you were in love with me?" i stood there. completely frozen. i didn't know what to say or how to feel. my feet felt numb, probably because of my bad blood circulation but that's besides the point. i was practically shaking. do i tell him? i don't know what to do.