A shout for you ღ♥

gosh.

I remember I used to be able to be “happy” at school. I used to be able to joke around and laugh and just be normal. I used to be able to be myself. But now, now I’m not so sure I even know who I am anymore. I was miserable at home, so I was always smiling at school. But now, I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t. And people have noticed too. They ask me what’s wrong, and of course what’s my reply? “I’m tired.” It’s true, I’m tired, but that’s not the main problem. I’m depressed. I’m embarrassed. I’m crazy and I’ve had enough. I want something that will numb the pain. Literally. I want something that will make me forget. I want to be myself again. 

There is something missing in my life. I don’t know what it is. And I pray to God everyday, to ease the pain. To help me. To talk to me. Let me know he’s listening. But nothing. Nothing at all. Just silence. I guess I’m just not worth his time. I’m not worth anyone’s time. So why am I still here? I don’t know.. I’m just wasting air and space. I’m just waiting for the day I die. The day I don’t hurt anymore. The day it all just goes away. The day I’ll truly be okay.