Say It!

14

Things go fast with him. He has this addictive feeling whenever we touch. His scent is so attractive. He's warm and familiar. I can't get enough of this strange feeling. What I thought was a quick to fling to make the week by go faster for him as turned into an intimate relationship. I had him pressed against the wall when I pulled away. He looked at me with his slim and thoughtful eyes but instead of lust it was confusion that clouded his expression. "Why did you pull away?" He wiped some saliva off his lips.

"This is going really fast," I answered.
"Are you getting cold feet on me..?" He asked quietly.
I could tell he was dreading my answer . "No," I stopped to watch his relief but he was still quivering against the wall. I caressed his cheek.
"I was just going to ask if you're comfortable with such a fast development," I paused, "I want this to last. I respect you. I love you more than I've loved anything ever... You're addicting, and I don't know why but even when I first saw you I knew I needed you. I need to make sure you're comfortable and safe and I don't want to mess this up because if I did I would never forgive myself, I can't treat you like some fling... because you are so much more,"

He stoped cowering and looked up at me with a single tear sliding down his left cheek. "Don't cry..."
He hugged me and buried his face in my chest. I've never seen him so vulnerable before. I don't
know why he was crying but I wrapped my arms around him regardless. When he pulled away his under his eyes where red and my shirt was soaked.
"Sorry..."
I smiled reassuringly. I grabbed his hand and led him to the couch. Once we both sat down I asked, "why were you crying?"

"I know we rushed into this on intense impulse but I really do like you. I thought it would burn out but it hasn't. I was slightly interested when I first saw you because you're handsome and muscular. When I kissed you I was extremely impulsive and immediately regretted it after, I never thought you would reciprocate those feelings. I thought it was just a matter of time before you left me. These past few days have been so amazing and to hear you say those words overwhelmed me with this warm feeling I can only describe as intimate adoration,"

"You think I'm handsome?" I teased.
He playfully pushed me.
"I'm glad you feel the same way," I kissed his cheek, "It's important to have these conversations otherwise we would crash and burn,"
He nodded.
"Do you want to cuddle and watch a movie?"
"Theres really no reason for me to say no,"
I laughed at his formality. "Well lets change into pajamas and you can pick a movie,"
He went in first and came out in a loose gray T-shirt and black joggers. I went in after and put on a fitting black shirt and red flannel pants. "Pick a movie yet?" I walked out of the room and saw him snuggled on the couch with a blanket. "I've filed it down to a few, you can pick out of my elite selection,"
I read allowed the movie list on the TV, "Happy Feet," I giggled and continued, "Mean Girls,"
"Classic," he nodded.
"And Elf,"
"All top tier movies," he commented.
"Lets watch mean girls," I said hoping over the couch and landing next to him against the corner of the couch. He flinched as I jumped and laughed afterwards. Beanpole quickly adjusted and threw his blanket over my lap as well and rested his head on my shoulder as I clicked on Mean Girls.

Throughout the movie I gradually slumped down, not realizing what I was doing. By the end of the movie I was subconsciously laying in Beanpoles lap. I looked up at him, probably not my most flattering angle. He ran his fingers through my hair and I shivered.
"What did you think of me when you first saw me?" He asked in a low voice.
"I thought you were attractive, but also aloof,"
"How so?"
"You just seemed very distant from everything,"
"Am I still like that?"
"Not to me... I saw how you were at practice though,"
He stopped to think about it. He knew I was right and couldn't make a counter argument so he dropped it and sighed. "I wish I wasn't so mean."
I glanced at him and he was visibly sad. "Hey! No crying when you're at Kuroo's!" I hugged him and wiped the oncoming tear from his right eye. He giggled at my embrace.

"You wanna go for a walk? I think you just need some fresh air," I hopped up and opened the living room closet and tossed him a large gray zip up sweater, then I grabbed a jacket for myself. The jacket hung loose on him, it revealed his covered shoulder and collarbone.

He looked so sexy.

I grabbed his hand and opened the front door. "You ready?" He nodded and squeezed my hand. We walked together down the street, on the side of the sidewalk there was a ledge with railing around it looking down off the cliff and onto the river. We walked over and stoped to admire the water shining under the bright full moon. He sighed, squeezed my hand, and rested his head on my shoulder.
"Its so beautiful," he whispered.
I glanced over at him. "Yeah," I took a breath of the cold night air, "You are."