Chapter 23

210 9 10

by britishaddict

by britishaddict

Can't be sleepin'
Keep on waking
Without the woman next to me
Guilt is burning
Inside I'm hurting
This ain't a feeling I can keep

So blame it on the night
Don't blame it on me
Don't blame it on me
Blame it on the night
Don't blame it on me
Don't blame it on me

- Calvin Harris, Blame

Third POV

That evening Matthew carried Nick, like a groom would a bride over the threshold, into his room. He gave him tiny kisses, promising to never hurt Nick again. The brunette loved every second of it. It was nice feeling loved. Then he remembered Liz. For some reason he felt he needed to call her, let her know he was okay, but then again, she probably figured that out on her own.

Matthew thought it was adorable how Nick would blush at his compliments. He tucked the brunette in, who reluctantly closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, comfortably for the first time in a while. The older boy didn't want to go too far in their first night back together, he stayed on his side of the bed, a pillow cuddled to his chest. He would rather have Nick in his arms, but that was too much.

"Matt? Are you up?" Light whispers buzzed in his ear. Nick was anxiously tapping his arm. It was four am. "I am now, babe. What's up?" Matthew asked groggily, eyes just slightly open. "Um, never mind. It's stupid. Sorry." Nick went to crawl back over to his side when Matt grabbed his arm, not harshly, just supportively. "What happened, baby?"

"Just a bad dream. I'm okay." Nick promised. "Do you want to lay with me?" Matthew was anxious, trying not to mess up with Nick this time. The younger boy nodded insecurely. Matthew made a space for him on the bed, wrapping his arms around Nick. "What did you dream about, cutie?" He rubbed Nick's arm. He yawned in response, "just... A patient of mine... They died." Nick lied, well, half lied. He had two dreams. One where Liz was sobbing on his arm and another where York was brutally murdered and left in an alley.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie." He comforted.

****

"I was thinking somewhere expensive! Somewhere fancy! The best for my boyfriend!" the younger rolled his eyes, "let's just stay here, please?" Nick begged, not wanting to go out and face the world yet. "Vegan waffles okay with you?"

"You're still a vegan?" Nick wondered. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" Matthew laughed. "Well I figured in prison... I don't know. Nevermind. Vegan waffles, yay." He panicked, sensing Matthew's mood change. "Yeah, I wasn't a vegan in prison. I wasn't even vegetarian. This isn't prison, okay?" The older boy was tense, on the verge of yelling. "I'm sorry." Nick blurted. He was almost shaking, figuring Matt would hurt him somehow for asking about that.

"You know what. Let's just forget about breakfast, okay? I need to make some phone calls." The two went over to the couch. Matthew turned on the Tv for his boyfriend to watch so he could make his phone calls.

"Burton's Anger Management and Therapy. How can I help you?"

"Hi, my name's Matthew Lush. Can I schedule an appointment?" The assistant on the other end of the line started scribbling down his information and date of the appointment as Matthew hung up.

Nick was texting Liz on thr sofa. She stopped texting after a while. Being the mature adult she is, Liz only sent him two texts explaining how much of a douche he was. He sighed in frustration, attempting to apologize without selling himself short. Matthew placed a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, noticing his slight flinch.

"O-oh hi!" Nick forced a toothy smile up at Matt. "Who are you texting? Do you still talk to Ellie?"

"Texting? Texting? Me!? I'm um, candy crushing." The brunette laughed fakely. "Give me the phone." Matthew demanded. "Matthew-"

"You're texting her aren't you!?" He stood up, screaming at his younger boyfriend. "I-I just want to help her."

"No, I'm not playing this game with you. Me or her? Who do you want?" Matthew asked in a low voice, trying to stay calm with Nick..

"You! I want you! But Liz is sad-"

"I was sad! You chose her over me! Did you even care!? I slept alone and cried alone! Where were you when I needed you!?"

"I didn't think-"

"You just forgot about me. I f*cking love you too, thanks a lot." Nick stuttered on his answer, "I-I d-do!"

"Prove it then! Stop acting like you're useless! What happened to you!?"

Nick pulled his legs up, resting his head on his knees, trying to calm down. With Matthew yelling at him he felt like he was going start to sobbing. The headache was coming on already. "And you're not even going to look at me, wonderful. Call me when you're not crying. Atleast when I was hurting you, you were getting tough..." Matthew muttered the last part as he put his vans on, stalking out the door.

Nick wanted to stoo crying so much. He wanted everyone to be happy. He wanted York to be alive. He wanted his parents to not.worry over him. He wanted Matthew to love him like he did at the beginning of their relationship.

Lately nothing was turning out so fabulush.

A/N thanks for the song suggestion, @ilushyouforeverever !!! A few more chapters left! Thank you for reading and commenting, and breathing, and being human! I am too happy, sorry. Okay, lush you, bye!