Chapter 20

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by britishaddict

by britishaddict

Third POV

Fading in, fading out
On the edge of paradise
Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I've got to find
Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire
Yeah, I'll let you set the pace
Cause I'm not thinking straight
My head spinning around I can't see clear no more
What are you waiting for?

- Ellie Goulding, Love Me Like You Do

"You hurt me."

"Slightly, and I didn't mean to. I don't know why I did that stuff." Matthew apologized. "I love you and you hurt me."

"It was kinda BDSM though?" Matthew tried. "No it wasn't! How dare you try to blame what you did to me on s*xual desire!" Nick spat. Matthew sucked in a breath. "I'm sorry. I was trying to be funny... Please forgive me?"

Nick rested his phone on his shoulder, dumping pasta into a pot of boiling water. He glanced out the doorway at Liz, who was wearing a pair of sweats with bunnies on them, a gray college sweater and a bun in her hair. She was still beautiful to Nick. The brunette sighed, "I love my girlfriend."

"Um, kay?" Matthew chuckled, "do you like me?"

Nick hated the older boy's stupidly cute little laugh, he hated his amazingly soft hair, he hated his overly loving personality. "That's personal," he replied at last.

"Let's get personal."

"What?" Nick questioned, repositoning his phone. Liz looked over the couch and waved him over. "I gotta go, call back tomorrow." Before Matthew could reply he flipped his phone shut, sitting across the couch from Liz. She put on some detective show and climbed on Nick's lap, giggling and laughing about how boney his legs are. When he thought about her he wanted to wrap his arms around her and fall asleep, dreaming on her soft blonde hair. It was like sleeping on a cloud.

Sleeping with Matthew was like being on edge every second of the day. Living with Matthew was scary, exciting, torrenting. It was amazing. Nick didn't want a soft loving relationship anymore. In his mind he felt he didn't deserve the love. He wasn't even sure he could love Liz the way she wanted. With Matthew he was so comfortable, and at place.

After comparing the two people he felt affection for over several hours, Nick went outside for some air. Liz finished up the dinner. The brunette couldn't eat, being far too stressed to do anything other than go for a run and lay down.

Somehow pushing almost two miles he collapsed on the front yard, exhausted. Mentally and physically, tired. Unlike most people, Nick could fall asleep anywhere. The nurse decided to climb inside before he passed out on the lawn. He didn't need the neighbors thinking he was running a frat house or something.

Liz was already asleep on her side of the bed, her small body trembling slightly in her sleep. Nick stripped himself so he was clad in a pair of black boxers as he laid down beside the blonde girl, letting his right arm fall over her. He could tell she was having a nightmare. If he woke her she would cry, if she slept through it she would be okay.

****

The next morning Nick contemplated calling Matthew back first. Liz was already at work, being judgey and doing things one labelled as a judge might do (A/N: I tried adding humor, womp womp womp... Fail).

He dressed in his old shirt from Matthew, "I Would Bottom You So Hard" and a pair of skinny jeans with black vans. He even did his hair how Matthew always liked, pushed up in the front in a quiff. It took him over an hour just to get ready for a phone call. When he picked up his phone prepared to call the older boy he realized something-someone, still stood in his way. Liz. His hero, his lover, his wall. In one stupid move he could lose that. Lose it all and fall again.

In one stupid move he was giggling on the phone with Matthew Lush. "I love you." He said suddenly, but he didn't regret it. Matthew felt butterflies build in his stomach again. They felt like home. Every inch of him wanted Nick back. "It's not love, it's lush. But I love you too." He replied, all giddy from the younger boy's confession.

"But you have a boyfriend?" Nick wondered. Matthew waved his hand, "Connor is cheating on me with his ex anyways. I saw his texts. What about Eliza?"

"Ummm I'm sorry? And it's Liz and she... She isn't you. She's so feminine."

"I'm feminine." Matthew chimed, teasingly. "I don't know, I really don't want to leave Liz but I love you." Nick admitted, wishing he could take that back.

"You can't have us both, silly. Do you love me? Or some stinky girl?"

"I love you both." Nick replied andamantly. Matthew groaned, "if you can't just leave her you can't have me either."

"Why!? I want you both!"

"Babe, calm down. I need you to decide soon who you want though."

"That's not fair." Nick grumbled, tired and confused. What if he made the wrong decision? "Nick, please. Don't play me like this. Don't lesve me again. I can't handle that." Matthew begged. Nick just wanted to love Liz and Matthew. Was that so bad? Why couldn't he just love two people? He was capable of that. He could give his attention and love to them both. "Wh-What about a polyamorous relationship?" He suggested.

Matthew sighed loudly. "I want you, not you and Liz! Just you. Just you baby. I love you." Nick was shaking slightly. He was terrified of making the wrong choice. He was positive that Liz or Matthew were his only love. No one else would love him like they would.

"Can I call you back?" Nick scratched the back of his head nervously, wishing his two loves would make his decision easier. "Of course, babe. I love you." Nick sucked in a sharp breath. "You too!" He swiftly hung up. "You two!?!?!" who says that!? The brunette was ready to bang his head against a wall.

A/N oh my gosh! You guys commented so fast yesterday! I lush you all so much. This was more of a filler, but I have the last three words of this story planned out already, that's set in stone. I am changing up the original plot of this story though.

Updates will happen tonight or tomorrow!