AFFAIRS OF THE HEART

33| Taunting Heels.

Abuja, Nigeria.

"You're so lost that I'm beginning to wonder what's on your mind, Ya Ayooni. What are you thinking about?"

"Why aren't you asleep yet, Khadijah? It's almost 1 a.m." Alhaji Abdurrahman tried to brush it off.

"Don't answer my question with another question, Ya Ayooni. Please, tell me what's wrong." She gently patted his arm.

"It's nothing much, Khadijah—just Fadeela's troubles, that's all."

Hajiya Khadijah chuckled quietly, drawing a puzzled look from her husband.

"What's funny about what I said?"

"How long have we been married?" she asked.

"What's all this? Why are you asking me that?"

"Just answer, Ya Ayooni." She smiled.

"Thirty-two years."

"Exactly. We've been married for thirty-two years; I know you too well, better than you think. This isn't about Fadeela, Ya Ayooni. Tell me what's really bothering you."

"We've failed, Khadijah," Alhaji Abdurrahman said, his eyes glistening with emotion as he looked at her.

Hajiya Khadijah nodded, understanding his sorrow.

"It's been thirteen years, and wallahi, every night, I sleep with that mistake weighing on my mind. It haunts me every single day, Khadijah! Yassalam." Alhaji Abdurrahman wiped away the tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

"I know. It haunts me, too. In fact, I always feel I was the root cause of everything that happened that tragic night... I've hated myself for what I did ever since." She wiped her own tears and sat beside him, taking his hands in hers.

"Allah knows that we've tried our best to atone for our mistake, but to no avail. Still, we'll never stop asking for Al-Ghafur's forgiveness until the day we return to Him. Allah is Al-Ghafur (The Forgiver), and In Sha Allah, we're among His forgiven servants."

"In Sha Allah, Khadijah, but the guilt won't... just go away."

"I know. That guilt will be with us forever, and perhaps that's our penance. At the very least, we can hold onto it, bear it in our hearts. Forever." She smiled sadly.

"May Allah forgive us and make it easier on us." He prayed, placing her head on his lap. A small smile appeared on her lips as she settled comfortably, murmuring an "ameen."

---

"My Jay, this is Falmata, a professional spa therapist from Maiduguri. You'll be having gyaran jiki (spa treatment) sessions for the next two weeks," Hajiya Khadijah explained, and Jalilah nodded with a small smile.

"Whoa! I still can't believe all this. I think I'm losing my mind, Ninah," Jalilah said to Banina after they were left alone.

Banina laughed heartily before responding, "And what exactly is making you feel this way?"

"Didn't you see? Mummy brought a spa therapist just for me! She's doing all this because I'll soon be moving into my husband's house. Oh, Allah." Jalilah ranted, and Banina laughed again.

"You should be happy, you nitwit! How I wish it were me being prepared to move into Amaar's house," Banina sighed dreamily, while Jalilah shot her a playful glare.

"Wait a second, Jay. I hope you won't be conveyed just like that, with no event, right?" Banina asked, and Jalilah nodded.

"How could you even think that? Come on, this is me we're talking about—the one and only Jalilah Marshal, aka the action girl!" Jalilah declared, and they both burst into laughter.