the outsiders ~

marjorie ~ dallas winston

this is the first time i've done something like this, hope you enjoy. <3
i highly suggest listening to the song marjorie by taylor swift while reading. the lyrics may not match up exactly but it's still a good idea :))
i didn't proofread well, sorry for mistakes

third person POV
~~

Never be so kind, you forget to be clever.

He always told her to stop being so kind to people who didn't deserve it. He told her to make sure it doesn't block her vision.

Never be so clever, you forget to be kind.

Dallas Winston wasn't the kindest to the things around him. He passed through, thinking nothing deserved it. His smarts just got the best of him. The cleverness in his brain caught a hold of him.

She could've stopped him. She should've been more clever like he told her.

She held him in her arms as the others reached out to her, hands touching hands. None were the ones she wanted.

"You're alright, my darling. You'll stay." She mumbles into his already passed body. His last breaths already left, but she ignored it. "Right?"

"Right?" She waits aggressively for an answer that she likes to pretend she got. She can still hear his voice.

And if I didn't know better,
I'd think you were talking to me now.
~~

The weeks had gone by since she peeled herself away from her soul. She still saw his face in mirrors and behind her, and in the back of her head.

And if I didn't know better,
I'd think you were still around

Her mind still felt like it was one with his, and his heard was one with hers.

She stood besides the grave, looking down as the sun beat on it. The sharp letters of his name carved into the stone stuck out.

Her hand rubbed against the top of the stone, and she crouched down to place her head against it. She felt like he was still touching her. She wanted to reach him, even though he was 6 feet under her.

She couldn't get the fucking voices out of her head. They echoed in her mind.

He still lived. She knew she would have to do it for him.

What died didn't stay dead,
You're alive, you're alive in my head.

She just wished his power didn't overcome his politeness. The world didn't deserve politeness from him. It didn't deserve his perfect, beautiful side.

Never wield so much power,
You forget to be polite.

No one was around to hear her words to him, she spoke and spoke and spoke, praying that he would hear her and come back to her grasp. She stopped herself from coming to the realization there was nothing she could do.

And if I didn't know better,
I'd think you were listening to me now.
~~

Her body had felt numb walking home, where a bag stood by her door. She grabbed it and drove.

Cabin's lined the road, each home having a dock float out into the water. She walked into the house, running her hands over the past memories she made with him.

She lay on the neatly made bed and rolled to her side. She wanted to go to another reality where he still existed. She wanted to feel him again, hear him again, see him again. Do anything with him again.

Sleep override her and she tried imagining what it would be like with him right beside her.

The air from all the windows she opened stabbed her skin. The air woke her up and she lifted herself off the bed.

Out the window she looked at the sky in the distance. The autumn breeze blushed her cheeks.

The autumn chill that wakes me up
You loved the amber skies so much.

She walked out to the dock. She stood along the edge and didn't feel the freezing lake under her until she leaped in, fully clothed.

Her body wanted to fight, it wanted to swim back up but she also didn't even want to. She tried thinking about would could be without him, and what could've been with him.

She came back through the surface and placed her hands on the dock, breathing heavily. She rubbed the water on her eyes and she put Dallas behind her in her mind. She could practically feel his hands running up and down her arms. She turned around so that she really couldn't feel the floor of the lake. He always tried pulling her past that point. He knew how scared she was of not being able to touch in water. She slowly made her way so she couldn't reach the dock anymore, and she couldn't stop moving her feet. She wanted to really feel him here, and she was doing what she thought would work best. The world was toned out around her. It was just her. And Dallas, according to only her
mind. Her bones were almost freezing in the water but she still felt warm by his 'presence'.

...frozen swims,
You'd always go past where out feet could touch.

She spent all her hours with him, but when you lose someone those are never enough.

She should've talked with him even more instead of the running, the sex, the drinking, smoking, and even with all that talking, she wanted more. She should've planned how to be without each other, even though she didn't want to.

I should've asked you questions,
I should've asked you how to be.

It finally drove her to realize everything was taken from her when he left. Her head, her soul, her heart, her love. He was the strongest part of her. She should've gotten more while she had it. Even though she had him all.

Should've kept every grocery store receipt,
'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me.

She pulled herself from the lake and onto the dock. She walked back, frozen still from the water and walked into the house. The windows were shut and locked, same with the doors. She walked out of the cabin, not knowing if she'd see it again.

She tried. She tried to continue her life without seeing him or hearing him. Even his laugh surrounded her when something funny came up. It never went away. Even when she sold her apartment, started a new job, cut her hair. She never felt the same without him.

She had never taken another lover after him.

She didn't want to dedicate herself to someone else when she'd already done that, no matter who or where they were. She loved him. She always has and she always will.

What died didn't stay dead,
You're alive, so alive

I know better
But I still feel you all around
I know better
But you're still around.