Colors // Jisungcentric

Time

How is that supposed to work? I can't be in a relationship with Jaemin while he's making out with other guys, or maybe even...

No, I can't, but what should I do then. Jaemin is my soulmate...
that means we are made for each other ... but he loves the other hyungs too...
why does love have to be so complicated!

I lie desperate in my bed until suddenly there is a knock on the door and Jeno comes in. I sit up and see Jeno walking towards me. "What's Hyung up?" I ask, puzzled.

"You love Jaemin right?" I nod. "Jaemin loves you too ... and us," I nod again, albeit a little sad at the thought. "And you don't want a poly relationship," and again I just nod and slowly look at the floor. "What are you going to do?" He asks.

"I don't know," I answer honestly and just hope that all of my problems will vanish. "Jaemin really loves you very much. And of course he doesn't want to lose us, but even less he wants to lose you," says Jeno and looks at me encouragingly.

"I don't want to lose him either, but I can't. It just doesn't feel right," I say and look away. I don't know how to go on maybe a break wouldn't be bad.
That's it. I'm going back to my mom. I haven't seen her in so long and she can certainly help me. She has always been able to help me.

When Jeno disappears from my room after a long conversation, I call my manager and ask for a break. I explain the situation to some extent, if I have to lie a bit, but ultimately he allows me to go back to America.

I immediately pack my suitcase and then go to the door.
'I should say goodbye.'
Also I go into the living room, where I can find all of my dream members.
"Jisungie?" Calls out Haechan.

"Hey, um ... I just wanted to say goodbye", suddenly everyone looks at me confused. "Why say goodbye?" Asks Jaemin immediately and looks at me with glassy eyes.
"I-I am going back to America for some time. I need a break so I am going back to mom."
"Y-you're coming back, right?" Asks Jaemin hopefully.

'I dont know.'
"Of course ... someday", I whisper the last part so that they don't hear it.
"Then we wish you a lot of fun and see you soon. Call us when you have arrived," says Mark and then accompanies me to the door.

I am picked up by my manager and he take me to the airport. Then I say goodbye to him and get on my plane.

I've been in Korea for a year.

I've been in the boy band NCT for a year.

I've been able to see colors for a year and I've been really happy.

I've known what love is for a year.

I've known my real soulmate for a month.

I've hated my life for a day.

I've been on the plane for an hour.

And for one minute I've been... dead.