Revenge, and A Little Bit More

Chapter Twenty Two: Dark, Dangerous And Broken

Warning: Depression, alcohol abuse.
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Cassandra was in the art room, busy painting a massive canvas, almost twice the size of a doorframe. She was using massive brushes, harsh movements and cold colors. She had her headphones on, frowning deeply in concentration as she paints. In her free hand was a cigarette, stolen from her mother a few hours earlier from her study. On the table next to her, amongst the paint tubes and brushes, an almost empty wine glass and several empty bottles. She hadn't slept at all, keeping awake some days even as the sun made its appearance. She was standing on a stepladder to better reach the giant canvas, under the table lay the body of a hunter, bone dry.

"Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel my heart?"

 The violent and angry brush strokes she made, made her sway slightly on the stepladder, steadying herself by grabbing the canvas before she falls. Her dark hair was tied up in a messy bun, falling apart as she paints. With a shaky hand, she takes a long drag from her stolen cigarette, exhaling a thin cloud of smoke. She got down from the stepladder, put out her cigarette and grabbed more dark paint, squeezing it onto the pallet. She picked up a pallet knife, and mixed a light blue with a bit of black paint. Her tears fell onto the pallet, causing her to mix her sadness in with the paint, before applying a generous amount to the canvas.

"Can you help the hopeless?
Well, I'm begging on my knees
Can you save my bastard soul?
Will you wait for me?
I'm sorry, brothers, so sorry, lover
Forgive me, father, I love you, mother."

 With the music blasting in her ears, she didn't hear the sound of a large man run past the art room, followed by the hysterical laughter of a witch and a vampire. With the last stroke of the tear-mixed paint, Cassandra stepped back to admire her work. A massive canvas with dark colors of blue and black, she had painted an abstract snowflake. The sharp brush strokes showed her pain and sadness, the snowflake, her fear. As if completely giving up, she laid down on the ground in front of her painting, after swallowing the last bit of the wine in the delicate wine glass she had left. She cried, uncontrollably, her tears making her headphones wet, as they rolled down the side of her face. She slowly falls asleep, partly due to being intoxicated, and partly because when she cried, it makes her fall asleep.

"I'm scared to get close, and I hate being alone
I long for that feeling to not feel at all
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim."

She was excellent at hiding her pain behind a smile, better than her mother even. Being killed by Ethan had done more damage to the dark-haired beauty than anybody could possibly know. It had a terrible effect on her, so much so that she hardly slept, started smoking and even started abusing alcohol.

"Cassandra?" someone called, but she didn't hear. She was numb, not able to or even caring to move. She woke up to someone harshly shaking her shoulder, trying to get her to wake. She lazily opened her eyes, and saw her mother's frightened expression, with tears in her eyes. Alcina was speaking, but she couldn't hear, until she picked Cassandra up, and gently took the headphone off. 

"My Cassandra? Speak to me, draga mea." she pleaded, her gaze going over to the massive, freshly painted canvas, then down to the many empty bottles of wine standing on the table.

"Oh my dear, what have you done?" Alcina whispered, before carrying her out of the art room, hugging her body close. Cassandra couldn't make out what was happening, until she felt the warm, soft blankets of her mother's bed. She drunkenly opened her eys again and saw Alcina and Lilith looking at her worriedly. She just watched them, too drunk to speak, trying to make out what they were saying.

"... in the art room. She's drunk, my love." her mother said, resting her hand on her lips. Lilith wrapped her arms around Alcina's hips, trying to comfort her. Cassandra felt guilty for making her mother cry, so she attempted to sit up, reaching out for her mother. Lilith suddenly got a fearful expression on her face, before darting out of the room. Alcina sighed and sat down next to Cassandra on the bed, rubbing her shoulder.

"M-mother, I am sorry." was all she could manage, before she felt her stomach heave, pushing up the wine she had moments ago. She leaned over the side of the bed, about to vomit on the carpet, when Lilith dove forward and shoved a bucket in the line of fire. The blood wine came flowing out, as Alcina held her hair out of the way. Lilith's face went pale, her soft smile faded and was replaced by a horrified look. She stood up and sped off into their bathroom, just making it to the toilet before vomiting as well.

"Are you alright, my darling?" Alcina asked Cassandra softly, gingerly rubbing her back. Cassandra looked up and smiled half-heartedly. Seeing the concern and love in her mother's eyes, Cassandra burst out in tears, hiding her face in the blankets.

"Don't cry, my darling daughter. Talk to me, I beg you." Alcina sniffed, wiping away her own tears.

"Mum, I think, I might be - be broken." she blurted out, laying back on the bed. Alcina frowned softly, brushing the hair out of Cassandra's face.

"Now, why would you say such things?"

"That... that man killed me. It w-was so cold, mum. I am weak and pathetic." she said softly. This broke Alcina's heart, seeing her daughter like this.

"My darling Cassandra. You are not weak, nor are you pathetic. And one day you will discover that you are fierce and strong and full of fire. Not even you can hold yourself back because your passion burns brighter than your fears. You cannot go back and change the beginning. But you can start where you are and change the ending." Alcina said with so much certainty and love, that Cassandra felt better immediately, smiling softly through drunken eyes at her mother. 

"I love you so much, Cass. Please come and talk to me, or Lilith, when you feel like this. We all love you, and we hate seeing you like this."

"I promise, mother. I g-guess I just needed a break, you know?" she slurred her words. Lilith came back after brushing her teeth. Alcina moved up slightly so that Lilith could sit next to her.

"You are one fucking awesome, kick ass vampire, Cass. I know the two of us struggled, but I have grown to love you and your sisters-" Cassandra didn't let Lilith finish talking, sitting up and wrapping her arms around Lilith's neck. Lilith was startled, glancing at Alcina with wide eyes, who started laughing silently. 'What do I do?' Lilith mouthed the words at Alcina, making her roll her eyes. 'Hug her, idiot.' she mouthed back at Lilith, who then awkwardly wrapped her arms around Cassandra, not really applying any pressure. She felt Cassandra laugh.

"I l-love you t-too, mother Lilith." she said, before falling asleep in Lilith's arms.

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Art inspiration for Cassandra's canvas - The Snowflake by Klaus of Vampire Diaries.

Song inspiration: Can You Feel My Heart - Bring Me the Horizon