✨tum Ko....Paa Hi Liya!✨

chapter10

"coffee! " he asked with a distinct feverish voice. His hands were full n occupied with two coffee mugs. He extented one towards me. She took it with nervousness. This was too much!! She was the one who stated that she would never kiss him by my own and look what she did today!! Humans n predictability doesn't go hand in hand.....!! She can still feel his taste on her lips. Its was so soothing easeful n calming, just like a sedative.
Somethings are just beyond the horizon of rationality! You cant decide what's wrong or what's right. Its just that what the heart wants is what it needs.....

"why do you hate your father? " she asked sipping on the caffeine loaded concoction. She wanted to know about it. She was eager n anticipated bout the relevation of the whole scenario n the reason behind his wreckness.

"its not about hating him. Who am to hate him!. Main unse nafrat ni krta. Shayad abhi zindagi ne vo wajah nhi di. Main bas ab unse vaasta nhi rakhta. I just don't care if he is happy with it or not.... I just don't. " his voice has the authority to affirm what his inner state is about regarding his father. He ,whose blood ran through his nerves. He ,who is the one is responsible for his existence partially. He who is his father. Who was supposed to be his father in an actual sence and meaning but unfortunately he wasn't....

"aisa kya kiya hai apke papa ne jo aap unse itte khafa ho? " she asked shifting in her place .

"hmm... Kiya hai! Kuch kiya hi to nhi unhone kabhi. Na mere liye na meri maa ke liye. Meri maa aakhiri saansein le rhi thi! She was almost on her death bed. Marr rhi vo..... Mujhe milna chahti thi, apne bache ki shakal dekh kr chain ki neend sona chahti thi.... She was crying. She was yearning..... So desperate to get a glimpse of me. Kych jyada mang rhi thi kya!!! Kehte hain marne wale marne se phle pta chal jata hai ki vo ab nhi rahega.... Unhe bhi pta chal gya tha. Barr barr din raat bas ek hi cheez bolti rehti thi ki mere bache ko bulwa lo... Ek aakhiri baar dekhna hai use! Ek baar bulwado..... Huhh!! " he flicked the salty drop aways reminiscing the dreadful day of his life. The worst of all. God took away the most precious thing frim his life n bestoved him with the life time grief and pain. So much pain! The intensity was such that he wanted to end his life as well. His own body felt like a burden to him.

" to fir aap gye unse.... " she said but literally stopped in the middle of it. She knew the answer.... It was obvious to reckon. She bite her lower lip looking downwards.

"agar jaa pata to aaj iss halat me naa hota! I would have been in a better state! The way she wanted me to be. But ho nhi paya..... Mere baap ne nhi hone diya. Vo unke pati, unke saathi hokar bhi samjh nhi paye unhe...... Vo khti rahi ki unke paas waqt nhi hai, bus mujhe dekha chahti hai! Ek baar gale lagana chahti hai. Pr vo thehre The Anirudh roy! The bussiness tycoon Anirudh roy! Bussinessman in and out. Kabhi pati banne ki jarurat ya jimmedari mehsoos hi ni hui unhe.....hoti bhi kyu unke hisse ki jimmedari bhi meri maa ne hi puri karli. aur koi shikayat bhi nhi ki kabhi. Isiliye unke aakhri waqt me bhi unhe sirf business hi dikh rha tha..... Bolte meri ko ki " Aaradhna, tum befijul ki baat krri ho! ,kuch ni hoga tumhe..... Iss tarah veham hone par hum sidharth ko baar baar US se nhi bulwa skte!..... Vo vaha padhne gaya hai ".....padh ne gaya hai my foot!.... Ye nhi bola ki unhe problem n discomfort ho rha tha meri maa se.... Unka beta agar maa ka khaayal rakhega to bussinessman kse banega.... Kse note chapega! Unki tarah!.... Uss insaan ko tabh bhi ye lag rha ki meri maa ko veham hai.... Veham! Huh!!! She was suffering from multiple myeloma. Last stage! Are akhri waqt me to dushman ki bhi khwahish sun lete hai. Vo to unki patni thi. Phle meri maa ka khayal nhi rkha. Do you know how unfortunate she was as a wife!! apni dawaiya mere jane ke baad khud magwati thi vo. Khud doctor ke paas jati thi, unke pass itna bhi waqt nhi tha unke sath ja skte..... Waqt nhi sorry.... Unhone to zaroorat hi nhi smhji! Bas unke account me paise transfer krra dete the. Aur ho gyi jimmedari puri!...... Akhiri waqt me to meri maa ne paise bhi ni mange unse! Apna beta manga bas! Bassss...... Vohi mila nhi. And pata hai ye zid bhi unhone jyada din nhi ki. Sirf chaar din! Chaar din hi pareshan kiya unko , aise char din hi rozz subha sham muje yaad krte krte vo marr gyi..... She died! Her soul was scarce to have me in front of her sight. To engulf me in her arm for the last time! Par nhi mila.... Ye khushi bhi nhi mili unhe. Ye sab masi ne mujhe bataya!!....once we came back cremating her ashes. Half of my soul died then n there only with her. She was everying for me. " he choked with his words. Unable to explain the fathom of that indispensable grief n pain loaded inside him. The paramount of his suffering, soreness amd anguishness was something that was inevitable and undying. That was slowly but steadily consuming him to the core.
Though he was trying hard to resist crying. But his tears hoodwinked him, they fall uncontrollably like the snow in an avalanche. He covered his face with his hands and let them get soaked up on his entire face .