The Man Who Killed Them

Chapter 50

⚠️Mention of suicide and of miscarriage⚠️

Ah! This is officially the longest book I've ever written. Chapter 50! Thank you for all the love and support. And thank you for 1k followers. Love you guys.

Bucky lead you back to your room. He picked you up bridal style since your feet gave out half way through. Carefully, he lays you down on the bed. He gets in next to you and rests his back against the headboard. Bucky brushes some hair out of your face before he lays your head in his lap.

You're silent. Not a single word or noise leaves you. Bucky leans down and kisses your forehead.

Are you super flexible all of a sudden. How did you do that so effortlessly.

"I'm sorry păpuşă." Bucky says. You scoff, "You're not the child murder here."

"You're not a child murder." Bucky says. You look at him and raise your eyebrows. "Did you forget about how I killed a classroom full of kids. Or did you forget how I killed our baby." You say. You turn your head to the side.

Bucky stays silent. Unsure of what to say. He runs his fingers through your hair. "You didn't kill our baby. Please don't think that you did." Bucky says.

"It didn't want me as a mother. It didn't want a child murder as a mom." You say.

"Păpuşă don't say that. That's not true." Bucky says.

"Maybe I'm better off dead too." You mumble. Forgetting Bucky has super soldier hearing. Bucky turns your head to look at him. "Don't fucking say that y/n. I can't live without you. I don't want to breath in a world where you don't exist. You can't leave me. I need you." Bucky says. You nod and sit up to rest your head against his chest. The two of you end up falling asleep.

When you wake up, you check the time and see it's 12. Bucky's still asleep. You decide to stay in his arms. Tears flow down the sides of your face. You sniffle slightly and wipe them away.

"Why are you crying?" Bucky asks. You crane your neck to look at him. "I didn't think you could hear me." You confess. Bucky smirks slightly. "Super soldier, păpuşă." He says. You turn your head away. "Answer my question please." Bucky begs.

"You know why I'm crying." You say. Bucky kisses the top of your head. "It's okay păpuşă. You can cry." Bucky says. He lightly trails his fingers up and down on your jawline.

You don't cry or say anything. Bucky lightly sighs. "I'm gonna go get some water. I'll be right back." He says. You nod. He gets up off the bed and walks to the door. "I'd be better off dead." You quietly whisper.

Bucky opens the door and slams it shut. He spins around to face you. "God dammit y/n. Stop fucking saying that. Don't think like that. It's not a big deal. We can make another baby." Bucky says. Once the realization of what he said hits him, he internally curses at himself.

"Is that what you think? That this isn't a big deal? I lost our baby! I don't want another one! I want that one back!" You yell

"That's not what I meant." Bucky says.

"Do you not realize how hard this is for me? How hard it is for me to realize I'm not pregnant anymore?" You ask.

"What? You don't think this is hard for me? I wanted to be a father so badly y/n! This is hard for me too! It's not just your loss!" Bucky yells.

Your eyes start watering. "I know that Bucky! Believe me I know that! But it was my baby! I was the one carrying it! It's my body that killed it! I'm responsible for our baby's death! You don't have to live with that for the rest of your life!" Your voice cracks.

"No I just have to live with the person who killed our baby." Bucky says. You nod, "Yea. You do." Tears flow down the sides of your face.

There's a moment of silence between you two. Bucky thinks about walking over to you and cuddling you, but doesn't. The same thought runs through your head, but you decide against it.

Out of nowhere, there's a knock on the door. Bucky opens it. Randy walks in. "I heard the news." He says.

"Get out." Bucky says. Randy looks at him. "I was just coming to say I'm sorry for your loss." Randy defends.

Bucky walks up to Randy. "She's grieving right now. You can say that later. Just. Get. Out."  Bucky says.

You tell him babe. I'm not even mad at you anymore. Your too hot to be mad at.

"You know what? Your baby probably knew that you would be it's mother so it chose to die instead." Randy says to you. You drop your head.

Bucky grabs Randy's throat with his metal hand. "Watch your fucking mouth, or I'll rip your throat out." He threatens. Randy turns a dark shade of red. Bucky continues squeezing his throat. Cutting his air supply off.

"Bucky that's enough." You say quietly. Bucky side glances your way. He looks back at Randy and sets him down. He punches Randy in the face and takes him out of your room and to the elevator.

You stay on your bed. Unsure of what to do. Bucky returns with two glasses of water. He hands you one that you desperately chug down. He offers you the second one. You take it and chug it down.

Bucky smiles and kisses your temple. "I'm sorry păpuşă." He whispers against your skin. You snuggle into him. "I'm sorry too." You say.