Mixtapes & Polaroids | Sam x Deena

19

Sam had her first kiss when she was 10.

It wasn't much of a kiss, really. It was barely a quick peck, a very nervous one that Sam regretted almost instantly. She left with her mother on vacation to stay with her Aunt Mary in Seattle, and this boy lived right next door. He was a year younger than Sam, warm brown eyes that looked like a puddle of gold when the sun hit just right. He wore a lot of bracelets, and cool little bands on his wrist that he'd take every chance to show off.

Everyone at the park swooned at him, but Sam thought he was just fine.

He thought Sam was funny, for that one time she went down the slide and forgot to use her feet to pad her landing. She flew off and landed right on her knees, and he thought it was the funniest thing in the world even as he decided to go help her up. He said his name was Jackson, and he thought the name Sam was a boy's name.

Sam thought he was dumb.

But he became her friend in those three weeks they spent in Seattle. They went out on bike rides, and built forts in the backyard. Their mothers would always make little comments about how they'd end up together, and while Jackson beamed Sam only shied away. She thought the idea was disgusting, and she didn't even like him that way.

But he was kind as a little boy his age can be. He showed Sam his new toys, and colored all of the princess books her mother forcefully bought her. Sam just wanted a camera, but she was always told to be grateful for what she was given so she never complained. He was funny and loud, he was the life of the party and when he was around, Sam didn't feel so invisible.

Because when she was spending time with him, her mother saw her. Her mother would talk to her and smile at her her mother would be nice, she'd be so nice to Sam and Sam would feel so accomplished that her little heart fluttered with joy. So on the last night of their trip, Jackson convinced both their parents to let Sam sleep over in a fort they made in the backyard and even when Sam begged her mother not to, she was told to go anyway.

"He's a sweet boy, Sam. You should go spend as much time with him as you can." Her mother cooed, waving her off and out of the kitchen like whatever she had to say for herself just wasn't valid.

So Sam does it. She goes over with a backpack full of snacks and her toothbrush, already wearing her pyjamas and Jackson was sweet. He brought out all the board games and they laughed all night, and pretended to sleep like spies when his mother would check on them but Sam kept thinking about all the comments. About all the times they were teased about love.

Sam knew as much about love as she did rocket science, but she had seen enough TV to have a vague idea on what it should feel like. When the girls see the boys and their heart melts and their knees grow weak and the butterflies appear— but Sam didn't have that. No. Well, she came somewhat close when a girl at the park called her hair pretty and gave her a free clip, but Sam thinks it doesn't count.

Because they were both girls.

"Why isn't your dad with you?" Jackson asks right as they finish a game of Snakes and Ladders. Sam won thrice in a row, which she was pretty pumped about.

"He has work." Sam hums, cleaning up the pieces and setting them back in the box.

"Do your parents... love each other?" Jackson asks curiously, watching Sam with his legs crossed as she folds the board to return it into the box.

"Yes. I think so. They're married." Sam shrugs. She thinks it's weird, him and all of his questions.

"So do they... kiss?" He asks softly, and this time Sam stops to look at him.