Mixtapes & Polaroids | Sam x Deena

27

"I know there's something going on between you and Sam."

"Me and Sam? Well yeah, you caught us kissing in your kitchen of course something's going on." Deena clears her throat, trying to hide the breath of relief that falls from her lips as they walk through the shops, both looking for costumes that weren't skull masks and cloaks. Deena thinks that's overused and pretty cliché.

Plus, they're not even scary at all.

"I meant the tension is thicker than Simon's skull. You fighting or what?" Kate clarifies with a sigh, browsing through the racks of clothes as Deena absentmindedly does the same.

"We're fine. Just... I asked if she wanted to take a picture and she said no. That's it, no big deal." Deena hums.

"Deena... She won't even touch you in the halls, did you really think she'd agree to a picture? Around all of these people?" Kate sighs, stilling to look at her friend who had been fiddling with the same top for what felt like forever. Her mind was a million miles away, clouded in stacks of all the problems that keep crawling out of the woodwork.

"Yeah no need to emphasize how stupid I am."

"I'm not... you know she's not ready. I thought you said you were fine with that."

"I am."

"You look like you had your heart ripped out."

"Maybe I just wanted to remember today, okay? Maybe I just wanted something of ours, just ours, before shit hits the fan again." Deena snaps, finally meeting Kate's gaze with a sharp, shallow breath.

"What do you mean by that?" Kate raises a brow, because Deena was standing there with a glimmer of distant fear in her eyes— maybe even dread that Kate can't help but notice. She looks like she's about to get wheeled off for execution, like her words held more depth than she let on.

"Things always get bad, Kate. Nothing ever stays good for long, not in Shadyside and definitely not for me. We were having a good day; was it so dumb of me to want something to remember it by?" Deena's words slip with a shred of tainted honesty, like trickles of blood seeping from a bandaged wound. Kate stammers into silence, trying to find the words to console Deena but with the way she looked, it almost felt impossible.

And it was impossible.

"Simon told me about the dinner. Is that why you're all freaked out?"

And Kate couldn't be more wrong, even when Deena was reluctant about formally meeting Sam's parents it was on the last of her list of demons to conquer in the night. She had a much bigger problem, one that weighed her down like chains desperate to drag her to hell. But she couldn't say that, so Deena just nods instead.

"Yeah. Yeah i'm just... on edge. Her mother already had some solid assumptions about me and my dad so I have a feeling it won't be a good night." Deena says, a sliver of truth in her words that help justify the guilt of all the lies she decided to keep locked up.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do. There's a really nice bakeshop on the first floor, after we get our costumes done we'll buy a nice little cake or... whatever cute pastry that'll make a good impression. You'll just tell them whatever shit they want to hear, if they ask about college say you've got it figured out. Business is always a safe bet, so say you're gunning for that—"

"So I lie? Then what's the point of meeting them, then?" Deena cuts her off, voice low and flat, like it was the only way for her tone not to falter.

"You said you want them to like you."

"Yeah, the real me. But I guess that's not good enough, is it?" Deena says through gritted teeth, her hand on the rack tightening until her knuckles turn white because she knew it was true. Both of them did.