Mixtapes & Polaroids | Sam x Deena

42

"Sam?" Deena mutters, absentmidedly playing with the hem of Sam's sweater.

It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving, a weekend Sam has spent making up even the most absurd excuses to get out of the house and just laze around with her girlfriend. Sam loved the weekends reasonably more, because they get to spend the day just tangled in one another, talking, laughing, existing.

Hidden away from a world of chaos, laying in Deena's bedroom on a particularly cold day in December, where snow had not fallen just yet but the crisp air outside was enough to send chills all over your body. Sam did prefer warmth, but she didn't mind her December days when Deena was right there, head on her lap and sprawled on the bed while she sat reading through a book she had plucked from a garage sale on Jones Road just a week before.

"Hmm?" Sam peers down at the brunette, already meeting warm eyes staring up at her with curiosity.

Sam instantly smiles when they lock eyes, because Deena is always so beautiful that sometimes, she feels as if her chest couldn't contain all the admiration she held for her girlfriend. She puts her book down on the bed, noticing the reluctance in Deena's gaze as she fiddled with the loose threads of the sweater Sam so blantantly stole from her.

"Do you like Christmas?" Deena finally pushes out, a deep breath along with it like it came from the farthest parts of her chest.

"Of course, do you?" Sam asks gently, as gently as she could trying not to make Deena feel stupid for asking a mundane question.

"I don't." Deena replies quietly, with a tight lipped smile on her face that Sam knew instantly.

"I'm sorry." She says, because Deena didn't have to explain.

Sam never really thought about her holidays until then, and her heart sinks at the picture her imagination paints. Deena and Josh, alone on Christmas day— on a day solely created to be shared with such domesticity, a holiday built on making anyone feel a thousand times worse having to spend it alone and though Sam did feel the painful grasp of loneliness even in a packed house, she couldn't begin to imagine how Deena and Josh must feel.

"Don't be, it's alright." Deena turns away, flipping on her side as her cheek mushes up against Sam's thigh.

"I only like it for the gifts. Nothing else. My parents they think that if they get me something good once a year then it'd make up for the rest of the things they refuse to give." Sam shares softly, her fingers making their way to tread through Deena's soft curls.

"I wish I could keep you with me." Deena mumbles, eyes wiring shut at the feeling of Sam's nails against her scalp.

She knew Sam was downplaying how she felt, probably in respect to Deena's situation but the brunette knew how much she hated it, how much it hurt. She just wishes there was a chance, a chance to stay— to be alone together on the loneliest holiday of the year.

"In your pocket?" Sam smiles slightly, poking a gentle finger into Deena's cheek.

"In my pocket." Deena catches her prodding hand, turning once again to lay on her back as their little smiles meet.

"I'd like that a lot, to just be with you everywhere you go." Sam nods, and Deena does too.

"I'd like it too." She agrees.

"I kind of like christmas this year, though." Sam comments after a brief pause, eyes swirling with thought as Deena looks up at her curiously.

"Yeah?" She asks but Sam's little smile only gets warmer.

"Yeah. It's the first one I have with you." The moment she says it, Deena feels like her heart had just decided to take that little nudging step off a cliff and was now locked in a freefall of bliss.