For Better or for Worse (Stucky)

Moving On

Warning: This chapter contains adult language and smut! You have been warned.

It took Bucky more time to process everything. It took him more weeks until he was ready and felt stable enough to deal with everything that had happened.
Steve had helped him take care of everything related to the heritage, had helped him with sorting through so many of Rumlow's things and had -after Bucky had decided he wanted to keep it- helped him with making sure the car now ran under his name and had proper insurance.
It had been roughly two months since what had happened in Lagos, and Steve knew there was one more thing they needed to do. One more formality after what happened, so Bucky would be able to have it all sink in.

„You know, you can still postpone this." Steve ran his hand over Bucky's thigh, pulling into a parking spot on the moderately occupied lot, glad they found a spot quickly as it was the week before Christmas and he knew many people visited around this time.
„I don't want to run away from it any longer." Bucky admitted, shaking his head a bit.
Steve gave his thigh a reassuring squeeze, nodding as he watched his lover, how he pulled his beanie further down and shrugged his scarf up. „Okay." Slowly getting out, he also readjusted his own scarf and welcomingly extended his hand to Bucky, smiling as he interlaced their gloved fingers.

„You know I'm here." Steve reassured, slowly guiding Bucky towards the grave -having asked Sam about where it was-.
„I know." Bucky replied, voice quiet as one hand clutched Steve's whilst he held an arrangement of pinecones, grasses and winter appropriate flowers in the other one.
Steve squeezed his hand reassuringly, knowing he could feel it despite the metal and carefully rounding the corner. The snow crunched underneath their feet as Steve led Bucky, slowly coming to a halt by the subtle tombstone, though the way Bucky had already slowed down made it obvious he knew they were there.

Steve watched him carefully, gently dropping his hand when Bucky moved away from him. Knowing his love needed him there, even if just passively.
Carefully running his gloved metal hand over the top of the tombstone to remove the snow that had accumulated on top, Bucky slowly bend down, voice quiet and broken as he leant his forehead against the tombstone, getting down on his knees -not minding the snow wetting his pants-. „Hey, sunshine."
Carefully running his fingertips over the side of the stone, Bucky sighed quietly and closed his eyes. „I miss you." Continuing to run his fingers over the stone, Bucky tried to suppress the aching in his chest. „I miss you so much, every day."

Steve watched quietly, hands tugged away in his pockets as he let Bucky do his thing. Also showing his respects to Rumlow silently -knowing he hadn't been a good or great person, but aware that he'd taken care of Bucky and that Bucky had loved him-.
Moving carefully, Bucky pressed a soft kiss to the stone, shuddering at how cold this felt. „I brought you flowers. Like you always did for me."
Carefully shifting, he slowly laid down the arrangement on the little area in front of the tombstone, making sure everything looked neat. „I'm sorry I didn't visit you earlier." Moving again, he rested his head against the stone again and kept his eyes closed. „I just miss you so much. And it hurts me to know you're gone." Voice quiet and private, he bit his lower lip slightly. „I know you always said this to me, but you were my happiness, too. My sunshine. My comfort."

Steve continued watching quietly, hating to see his love suffer. Watching the way he leant his forehead that was covered by the beanie against the tombstone broke his heart, how desperate his love was to be close to Rumlow again. Eyes wandering over his body, he sighed as he saw the knees of his pants in the snow, mentally planing a nice warm bath for him -or them, depending on what Bucky wanted- once they were back home.
„I miss you." Bucky whispered again, tears stinging in his eyes as he pressed another kiss to the cold stone, sniffling. „I really do. And I'll visit you more often now." Moving a bit, he sighed deeply and ran his fingers over the side of the stone. „I promise."