For Better or for Worse (Stucky)

Trust

Bucky had been with Steve for a couple of weeks now and they were slowly starting to find some sort of rhythm in their days, though there were good ones and worse ones. Bucky hadn't broken down again like the one time and also hadn't hurt Steve again, though he still wasn't doing well.

Mornings were often better than evenings. They'd have coffee together and some form of breakfast, though Bucky still didn't eat as much as Steve would like him to -but Steve knew forcing him would only make things worse, so he tried to take it slow by gradually increasing the portions he put on Bucky's plate from time to time-. In the mornings they'd talk a lot, sometimes about random things, sometimes Bucky would ask him about something from the 40's he'd remembered and ask whether it was true or not. He'd ask Steve about his life these days and even sometimes asked about names he'd heard Steve mention. When they talked about the past, he'd often write down what Steve said compared to what he'd remembered in his notebook -though so far, he'd never let Steve seen it opened-.

Over time he stopped jumping when Steve patted his shoulders or rubbed his thighs in a comforting manner, though Steve still stayed away from anything close to his face because it made him jump terribly each time. Together they'd ordered some clothes for Bucky online, though their sizes were pretty similar and since Steve didn't mind, Bucky still wore a lot of Steve's clothes -finding comfort in them and also feeling like they helped him stay focused on where he was now whenever he remembered something HYDRA had done to him-.
Steve had also ordered a bed for him from IKEA but since it hadn't arrived yet, Bucky still slept on the couch -though Steve had offered him his bed which Bucky declined-.

Steve had noticed a pattern however, that with the days going by, Bucky would fall quieter and quieter by the hour until he stopped responding properly at around 6 pm, causing them to have dinner -which Steve always cooked alone because of Bucky's worsened state at night- in silence. Whenever he tried to get some conversation out of him, Bucky would only nod his head dully or mumble some -often incoherent- response.
Steve didn't understand why it was like this, surprised that despite Bucky's nightmares -which he never admitted or described to Steve- he was doing rather okay in the mornings and worse at night. Steve just figured it might be Bucky's way to brace himself for troubled nights, falling quiet and numb. He'd been desperately thinking of a way to help him, but he knew himself that nightmares don't go away easily. His own ones never left.

Bucky's usual quietness at night was why one evening, while Steve was making dinner, he got startled when Bucky -who'd usually take a shower around that time or sit on the couch quietly- suddenly spoke up from behind him, standing in the doorway. „C-Can I help you?"
Steve turned around, a smile spreading across his face as he looked at Bucky, who was fiddling with the sleeve of Steve's sweater that he was wearing.
„Yes, of course! I'd love to cook with you. Come here." Steve gently extended a hand to him, unable to stop smiling because it was the first time Bucky asked to take part in cooking.

Bucky carefully took his warm hand with his right one, fingers cold as he gave Steve's hand a tiny squeeze like Steve often did for him.
Steve smiled as he noticed that Bucky copied this from him and gently pulled him towards the counter. He explained to Bucky what he was planning to cook and -after Bucky seemed very hesitant about taking a knife to cut the onions- opted to have him wash the lettuce instead.

Steve prepared the main dish, glancing at Bucky from time to time as he was extremely careful with his metal hand, eyes fixed on the salad. A song soon came on on the radio that Bucky knew because they played it a lot lately and he started humming to himself a bit -like Steve often did when he was cooking-. Steve smiled at this, surprised at Bucky's good mood tonight and also hummed along to the song, this whole situation reminding him of the 40's when they had shared an apartment.