Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder

7

It's the 20th February 2017, I'm 16 years old. I've just logged on for the first time in, I think, over a year, and this is my first update in two! Reading all your comments and inboxes have really made me happy. It brings me great comfort to know that, even now, my short and messy little entries have had an impact on you all and (hopefully) helped you all to realise you're not alone. 

I understand that 14 year old me - which is probably how old I was when I last wrote here -was a bit hopeless at writing. I certainly did ramble, having read back on what I wrote previously but I hope you were all able to follow me. I've edited a few of my notes just to bring it up to date with the sort of person I am now (i.e. deleting lots of old jokes I had slipped in here and there because I thought I was fucking hilarious when I really wasn't).

To be clear: I like being a daydreamer. I still am. I have changed a lot as a person these past few years, in body, mind and personality but that part has not changed. Trust me, even though I've not written in here for god knows how long and have long forgotten how to use this site properly, I still spend every night in bed wondering what my life would be like with certain people in it, and what I could be like if things were different. My old, shambolic accounts in this book have made it sound like a nightmare on the whole, but I promise you all for the most part I wouldn't change who I am for anything. Maladaptive daydreaming does go hand in hand with my insecurities, anxieties and sadness, but I think that's all part of it. For anyone. It's a bit of a burden but nothing that I can't manage at this point (I don't know about you guys?). I think I may have mentioned my history of unconventional self harm in this book (can't actually remember but yeah anyway), but I'd just like to say that is mostly behind me. I am over the worst and right now, at this stressful time in my life with school and responsibilities *eek*, I'm getting through it with the help of my daydreams. They're an escape, and I've always felt like that, but now more than ever. Therefore, they are definitely my asset.

Current daydreams are circulating around similar themes of relationships and the ideal social life, as they usually have done for me. I am in love with one who is not mine, and of course that plays a part in my daydreaming, heavily. The most beautiful, intelligent and incredible person I have ever met in my whole short life. Wonderful creative fuel.

The human mind is beautiful. As a lover of art and philosophy, I should take into consideration how lucky I am to be so creative and imaginative, all in the name in rescuing myself from reality sometimes. I have an incredible past-time that only I am able to enjoy. Not bad for an extroverted-introvert.

Again, as I have said throughout the duration of this book, feel free to contact me if you want a friendly voice or someone to talk to about this. Since I don't come on here much and, after the next few days of checking back on my update, I probably won't be back for the forseeable, so you can ask me for other means of contact if you really wanna talk. I'll be happy to.

Love always x