Use Me Like A Drug

Visible and Bright, Even Through A Staticky, Grey Filter

  Beomgyu hesitantly looked at his phone which he had set up in front of him. He'd never tried something like this before. He had a list of songs set up for himself and he was planning on going live for 30 minutes. The only 30 minutes he had to spare.

  His sister was over at a friends house and his brother was out with a couple friends. This left Beomgyu by himself to do whatever he wanted.

  He'd never been super confident in his voice, although he knew that he was good at singing, but your comment had solidified his surety in his activities. He would try it today and if he liked it, he would do it again.

  He pressed the button to go live and then without any words, he began to sing to a karaoke track of one of the songs he'd chosen, anxiously ignoring the viewers and comments that popped up on the side every so often. He could feel his hands shaking as he clenched his eyes shut, too scared to see any feedback.

  When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by a small viewer count that consisted of two digits. He had a few comments from people who were promoting their own Instagram pages. Beomgyu felt a wave of relief rush through him and he felt like he could breathe.

  It was easier to sing and have fun and he felt the sense of comfort that he did when he was with his friends. He didn't feel the need to be nervous about what others thought. He just sang and let others listen, hoping his voice would bring them a calm moment. After his half hour was up, he ended the live video with a few comments, 10 new followers, and a smile on his face. He sighed in relief. He had found another escape.

  ~

  "I'm getting a job."

  "It's about time."

  HueningKai fought the urge to roll his eyes and he bit back a sarcastic comment. The only reason he was getting a job was so that he could spend less time with his foster parents. He had no desire to earn money for himself or become financially independent like Soobin. He just wanted a part time job that would give him a reason to be out of the house without questioning.

  He'd already handed out resumés and all he was waiting for was responses. From what Soobin had told him, work was miserable, but Soobin was taking on a full time job to support not only himself, but Taehyun as well. Soobin had done some shady things to get himself that job. Students aren't allowed to work the night shift, nor should they be working full time, but Soobin had made it work. HueningKai wasn't looking for that kind of job. He just wanted something small to keep him out late. He even considered giving Yeonjun some money to pay for gas.

  "What a coincidence," you'd told him. "I'm looking for a job too."

  You'd been looking for a job for the exact same reason. Being in the house was no cakewalk. It was misery. The longer you could spend outside doing something socially acceptable, the better.

You'd also gotten to handing out some resumés and had yet to hear back from anyone.

You'd previously abstained from getting jobs because you'd always moved so often. You were hoping that maybe it would give your parents a reason to stay.

You felt content within the group of people you found, despite what others seemed to think. There was a rapidly spreading rumour that within their mafia esque group, you had infiltrated your way in and managed to snatch a position that was just as fearsome as the rest of them. You'd noticed people clearing the way in the hallways, and even the stares increased, but it was nothing that time wouldn't fix.

You found yourself sitting in the car with them all once again, on your way to their favourite hang out place. Just like they did with most places they took you, they opted for secrecy, speaking in weird code as they drove.