Use Me Like A Drug

Someone Always Has It Worse

  The diner was quiet. You fully expected it to be quiet, after all, it was the dead of night. It made you wonder why they stay open so late. Did they get business at this time of night?

  Soobin sat across from you awkwardly snacking on the food in front of him. He almost seemed nervous to eat in front of you. He had been tense ever since you and Beomgyu started staying with him and Taehyun. He never relaxed. His muscles were always tense and you could see how tired he was, the bags under his eyes growing deeper with time.

That's why you decided to treat him to dinner, although you had to admit, getting him away from Taehyun and Beomgyu was a task, and an unplanned one at that. You had to wait until they'd both fallen asleep before you dragged Soobin out of the cramped room you all shared.

"You can relax. That's what I brought you here to do," you told him, looking up from your computer screen.

The situation was not helped by the bright white light of your laptop that sat in front of you. As much as you desperately wanted a break as well, you couldn't just ignore your essay due the next day. It was already two days late and you had a hell of a time convincing the teacher to even let you turn it in. There was no way you were missing this due date.

"You're one to talk," he humphed, nibbling on a fry whilst avoiding eye contact.

You sighed and looked to your unedited essay that was riddled with spelling and grammar errors. You had to edit it still, but you supposed that your teacher could deal with those errors. You clicked the auto-correct tool and accepted every change it made without even looking at them and then you closed the laptop, lending your attention to Soobin who seemed surprised at your speed.

"All finished," you told him, reaching for a fry.

"I'm surprised you haven't given up on grades yet," he hummed, a smile spreading across his face.

"I'm not fully assimilated yet. You'll have to try harder if you want to turn me into a rebel," you joked, returning his smile.

"Avoiding your birth parents, being out late on a school night, and living with three boys? How much more rebellious can you get?" He asked sarcastically, cracking his back on the back of his chair.

"I've been wondering. If it's not too invasive, why don't you live with your parents?" You asked Soobin, he froze for a moment, but returned to normal soon after, as if he knew the question was unavoidable.

"I left a while ago. Around the time I was twelve if I remember correctly," he nodded, taking a sip from his drink to ease the tension.

  "Twelve?" You asked in disbelief.

  "Yep. My parents were awful. My mom left when I was just a kid and since then, my dad had been dating around, as is his right to do so," Soobin explained. "The thing is, he would always bring these women home too soon and expect me to take to them quickly. They all just expected me to like them, as if they were some sort of motherly saviour who had come to wipe away the memories of my real mother. They always got a little too hands on with my upbringing. They acted like they had control over me. One day when I was twelve, I had enough. I got mad and yelled. I screamed and yelled and threw a hissy fit. My dad told me that if I wasn't going to be obedient with these random women, then I could just leave. I haven't seen him since."

  As Soobin explained, his eyes remained glued to the table, as if he was no longer taking in visual information. Instead, he allowed the scene to play out in his head, reliving it all.

  "I lived in a shelter until I could work. I worked part time for a while and saved wages. I lived in a motel for a while. When I met Taehyun, I offered him a place to stay. When I started to look mature enough, I faked my age to get full time night shifts and I've been doing that ever since. I'm tired a lot of the time... sometimes I wish I could just close my eyes and never open them again... just slip away into the blissful feeling of warmth and calm that overtakes me while sleeping..." He hesitated for a moment, closing his eyes to collect himself. "But I have people to take care of and I'm grateful for them," he smiled.

  "You are too mature," you told him, looking him directly in the eye.

  "What?"

  "You just never got the time to live as a kid. You've been an adult since you were born and you've never gotten to rest."

  "Some people have it worse," he started.

  "There will always be someone who has it worse, but that doesn't mean that your problems are invalid. Take time to acknowledge them. And take a moment to rest. Find some time to be a kid," you told him, tossing a single fry in his direction.

  He picked the fry up and tossed it back in retaliation.

  "Hey, could you kids not do that?" The cashier asked.

  Soobin looked to you for a moment and made a decision in that split second. He grabbed a handful of fried and chucked them at the cashier before grabbing your hand and pulling you with him. You struggled to slip your laptop into your bag as the two of you ran out of the store, being chased by the angry cashier who was shouting at the two of you the whole time.

  You trailed slightly behind Soobin, yet the two of you had almost escaped the sights of the cashier. Soobin turned a corner and you followed suit. Soobin found an empty truck with a deep bed and he ushered you towards it, helping you into the bed before he laid down beside you. The two of you breathed frantically, and as the footsteps and shouting of the cashier grew closer, Soobin placed a hand on the back of your head and pulled you in closer, quieting your breathing and shielding you, should the cashier find you.

  The two of you remained hidden like that until the cashier passed by again, grumbling about how he hated kids. When he turned the corner, Soobin sat up and hopped out of the bed of the truck. He offered you a hand to help you out and as the two of you set off for home, you giggled at your antics.

  You'd certainly never done that before. It was exhilarating.

  "I can't believe you just wasted food like that," you sighed, still catching your breath.

  "I almost regret it," he replied, chuckling breathily.

  "Despite being chased by an angry cashier, I had lots of fun."

  "Me too. Thank you for doing this. Inviting me, I mean," he clarified.

  "Now that you've run off all your energy, you'll definitely sleep when you get home," you told him.

  "Can't argue with that."