Use Me Like A Drug

Happiness Never Lasts.

  "Why do I have a notice that they're going to shut off our heat?"

  "Because you didn't pay the bill."

  "I gave you the money to pay the bill."

  "No, you gave me money to pay the electric."

  "I specifically said heat! You never listen!"

  "You're fucking insane. You told me to pay the electric."

  "Oh, so now you're insulting me?"

  "You told me to pay the-"

  "No I said to pay-"

  "If you'd let me finish-"

  The yelling grew louder behind Yeonjun, piercing his eardrums, the volume causing him to flinch. He scrunched his nose and tried to focus his attention on the game in front of him, trying to clear the level that he's been stuck on for months. A shiver ran up his spine and it wasn't because of how cold the house had grown in his parents miscommunication. His mother's harsh voice as she yelled at her husband reminded Yeonjun of whenever he was scolded as a child. Her shrill voice, making his eardrums pound and then ring sensitively. His fathers voice made him feel scared and on edge, as if Yeonjun was the one who did something wrong.

  Most days were like this. No matter how little time the spent together, his parents would always end up in a yelling battle that would result in one of the two sleeping on the couch. The yelling made Yeonjun's chest tight. He was the single thread holding their marriage together and that made him want to leave.

  As the 'Level Failed' screen popped up, Yeonjun threw his controller to the side and stood harshly with a huff. He walked to the door and grabbed the keys from his fathers coat pocket. His father wouldn't need them today. He cast one last backwards look at his parents, too heated in their screaming match to notice him slipping out the door. He didn't hesitate to leave.

  He needed to drive. He didn't know where to. He just needed to be out of there.

  As Taehyun exited the studio apartment, Soobin was just coming back from work. He had bags under his eyes that contradicted the smile on his face. Soobin greeted Taehyun as energetically as he could muster and Taehyun hated it.

  "I'm going to the skate park, Hyung," Taehyun told him.

  "Oh? Again?" Soobin asked, raising an eyebrow. He leaned against the old wooden railing, a desperate creak escaping, the old wood covered in chipped white pain threatening to fall at any minute under his weight.

  "I enjoy it," Taehyun replied simply, averting his gaze from Soobin's exhausted eyes. He couldn't stand to look at them anymore as they remained half lidded despite Soobin's attempts to pry his eyes open wider. They begged to close and remain that way for a long while. Taehyun hated the way they struggled to stay open and he hated the way that Soobin maintained eye contact so diligently with those tired eyes of his. Instead of looking at Soobin's eyes, he looked to the ground which was littered in broken pieces of wood that had chipped from the railing and door frames. It only made him feel worse.

  "Have fun. My ringer will be on. Call me if you need me," he told Taehyun, opening the door to their shared apartment.

  Taehyun hated this.

  The comments floated away, so fast that Beomgyu couldn't even read them. It made the corners of his mouth crinkle in a mixture of satisfaction and happiness.  He sang his heart out, not caring if the sound travelled farther than his walls. His voice was strong and powerful and occasionally as he sung and danced around his room, a giggle would escape unintentionally betraying his joy to those who followed him.