Use Me Like A Drug

LOSER=X, LOVER= ✓

You were able to breathe easier when Soobin called you and asked about Beomgyu's wellbeing. You were able to take Beomgyu to Soobin's house, where you also resided. The small apartment was enough to accompany the four of you, but you felt guilty. Soobin was trying his hardest to accommodate you. He gave you an extra blanket to sleep with and an extra pillow. He also hung up a blanket to give you a wall. You wanted to close your eyes and sleep. You had a long day of work scheduled tomorrow with HueningKai, and if you so much as blinked too long, you would never hear the end of it from your boss. Not to mention the berating you'd have to go through because of your bloodstained uniform.

  Taehyun had given you some of his clothes, hoping to offer you comfort. You'd left your uniform in a neat pile outside the blanket that acted as a wall between you and your friends. You tossed and turned and eventually, you gave up hope, knowing that you couldn't force yourself to sleep. After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, you heard shuffling and footsteps that came close to you, then retreated. You could no longer stand the ceiling. You'd stared at it for too long and eventually you ran out of nooks and crannies to search. You stood up and peeked out of the curtain. Taehyun had your uniform in hand and he was making his way to the door. The other two were soundly asleep, Beomgyu cuddling close to Soobin, not that the two would ever accept that it happened.

  "What're you doing?" You whispered, stepping out from behind the makeshift curtain.

  "I was going to try to wash your uniform so that you don't get in trouble..." He seemed hesitant yet frantic with his words, as if he was trying to explain himself out of a complicated situation.

  "I'll help you," you told him, making your way to his side. He seemed almost worried but allowed you to join him as he left the apartment, heading down a set of stairs towards a door labelled 'Laundry' with the R scratched off, making the sign say 'Laundy'

  The laundry room was a mouldy room that didn't seem fit to clean things in. The floor was made of concrete and there were flickering lights in the roof. It smelled of lint and watered down detergent. There was a sink in the corner with water stains on it, and beside it was a wire stand that held a garbage bag overflowing with lint.

Taehyun went straight to the corner where the sink was and turned it on, soaking the stains on your uniform. He attempted to scrub the stains out of your uniform as you stood by his side, yet he kept the sleeves of his hoodie rolled down. This only became an issue when you saw that the sleeve of his hoodie was soaked, which would deep through to his cast which he was not supposed to get wet.

  In a panic, you gently pulled his hands from the sink, letting your uniform become fully submerged in water, and you pulled up his sleeve before he could even think to stop you.

  Thankfully, his cast wasn't ruined, but you'd seen something he most certainly didn't want you to see. On his cast in capital letters was the word 'LOSER'.

  "What is this?" You asked, gently dragging your fingers down the cast, holding his wrist gently, ensuring you only touched his cast. He remained silent until your eyes moved to his.

  "I... did it to myself..."

  You were stunned at his answer. Your mouth opened as if you were about to speak but you couldn't think of anything to say.

"I was just thinking about what you and the others have been going through lately. Yeonjun Hyung is sick, Soobin Hyung is stressed, you and Beomgyu Hyung are having major family issues... I just..." he paused to think for a moment and you remained silent to allow him to think of what he wanted to say. "I can't believe that I made such a big deal out of this." He lifted his arm out of your hand, letting you know that he was talking about his wrist. "I scared you, I stressed out Soobin Hyung, and I'm just making everyone's life harder. I was just thinking about it all and I realized that I'm such a loser. That's all I could think of. Everyone else is fighting their problems and bleeding to solve them, meanwhile I'm just losing. I'm weak and frail and attention seeking and scared and a burden. I'm just... I'm a loser."