Dancing in the Rain // Sugawara Koushi

♡︎ⒸⒽⒶⓅⓉⒺⓇ ⓃⒾⓃⒺ♡︎

The end of year exams were coming up soon, taking away most of my leisure time and replacing it with study time.

I needed good grades, not just to get my parents to lay off, but also for myself.

For me, one of the most uplifting compliments was seeing an 'A', or 'A+' on a test paper.

And yet, while I sat at my desk, attempting to study with my open laptop, multiple borrowed library books and pen and paper ready to receive notes, I simply couldn't concentrate.

As I stressed about exams, the stress seeped out into my everyday life, giving me extreme anxiety about my boyfriend.

I had seen him with her at the dance.

Yet he pretended not to know her.

He acted like nothing was going on, but was it true?

Was he true?

I frowned as I stared at my empty pages, wondering what I could do about it.

There were, essentially, three options.

Option 1: confront him about it and try and get a proper understanding of the situation.

Option 2: Pretend like nothing's wrong and forget about it.

Option 3: completely ghost him or break up with him.

My stupid ass was about to go with option 3 without thinking, but common sense kicked in and option 1 suddenly sounded fantastic. I gripped my butterfly necklace as I decided what to do.

I nodded my head and texted Koushi, asking him if we could meet. He responded with a thumbs up. I told him to wait for me at the park and I gave myself a minute to gain composure, wiping my scared tears away and taking a few deep breaths.

I ran to the park, arriving there completely out of breath. Koushi saw me and stood from the swings, taking me in his arms to give me a moment to breathe.

He shushed me softly and caressed my hair gently. I felt so incredibly safe and warm in his arms that option 2 was starting to sound really good.

But a mischievous sense of curiosity bubbles in my stomach and I knew I had to find out exactly what was going on.

Koushi gave me a few minutes for me to both catch my breath and gain my composure.

Once I had decided that I was ready, I took a deep breath and made a decision which I couldn't go back from.

"Koushi, I need to know what's going on with you and that girl." I breathed out heavily as I sat next to him on the swings, not daring to catch a glimpse of whatever expression was painted on his face - maybe I was too scared of all the likely expressions; fear, disappointment, shamefulness, sadness.

"You mean Hana." He mumbled after what seemed like an eternity of silence and bated breath.

"You refer to her by first name?" Without thinking, I looked up at his face, immediately regretting it.

It wasn't fear, or disappointment or shamefulness or sadness like I had thought, but, somehow it was a melancholy mix of them all.

His eyebrows were furrowed as frustrated tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes, his fingertips turned white as they gripped onto the swing' chains harshly. An unfamiliar frown spread across his lips, those lips which I loved to watch curl into a warm smile, or kiss softly.

As soon as I glimpsed his expression, I wished I hadn't uttered a single word.

"She... I promise you, I never cheated on you, just... just please, give me a moment to explain." His voice cracked a little and I nodded quickly, feeling bad about making him feel this way.