50 Shades of Bane- A Tragedy

So long and Good night (Ending)

Its been a long day at school, as usual and like the normal routine i'm pushed around and touched in the hallways.  I honestly don't care about a thing because I know that pretty soon i'm not going to have to deal with all these fucking assholes.  No more bullshit and no more drama, almost feels good too look forward too.  I wont have to deal with my dad anymore and I can finally end this tragedy with my Bayne.  Im in 3rd block right now in school and this whole day I have been carrying my loaded handgun in my jacket.  I know it sounds crazy but this is what’s best for me.  Its about to be lunch in about a half an hour, that’s when the show begins.  Like a puppet in their little game, I will play along and give them what they want.  What they have been begging for all these years of bullying, cheating, raping and fucking lies.

I zone out in the middle of class as Mr. Nem is talking about 1812 this and 1824 that.  I always found social studies fun, and I always got good grades in his class however today is different.  I think we all know why that is. I know I have been saying this all day however I still can't fully believe it, I won't have to deal with all this bullshit pretty soon.  

I look to my right, out the window where I see such a dreadful day, rain drowning the streets and thunder erupting every so often.  Seems like the heavens know about this tragedy however they could also be setting the mood.  Im dressed in full black today, as usual, so then I can at least die in fashion in front of the whole school.  I already made a plan for what and how i'm going to do it.  It took so much confidence to go through with it however I don't really have much of a choice.  Im going to go to the bathroom as soon as lunch starts, to get ready and make sure the gun is ready.  Then I will walk into the cafetiere where I will pull up a chair and present my suicide note.  I will then pull the trigger and fall in front of all the assholes and rapist’s, to show them exactly what they caused.  I honestly don't care if they are emotionally scarred for life just because of it.  They have have done so much to me the past couple of years, stuff that changes people and shape the way they are.  If people have changed though their life, its most likely because of the people their around.

*Ring*

Finally the release bell rings loudly, releasing the audience to lunch and where finally the show will start.  I dont even grab my books and other school materials with me, I just leave them right their on the desk, in the classroom.  I rush down stairs before everybody else because they all have to stop at their lockers before going to lunch.  Turning corners quickly and rushing carelessly I notice that the D.I.X are in the cafeteria, sitting on tables and most likely waiting for me.  Rocky is looking around, Grace is lying on the table and Kitty is on her phone talking to someone.  Its hard to tell who she might be talking to because she does not show any expression or sign.

They don't notice my as I carefully walk into the dirty, mens bathroom where I stand in one of the stalls. For a moment, its silent, in which giving me more time to think.  I can still some what hear the roaring thunder and rain from outside and the atmosphere feels soothing.  Its cold and tingles my skin like i'm in a light winter however its as dry as the desert.  

 

I start to wonder why the D.I.X are here, they have different times for lunch and why would they be here on this very day?  The day i'm going to end it all.  Its not like they know what deed is going to be going down today, at least I think.  If they knew about anything thing about the situation then they must of had a bad feeling about me or heard it from somebody else. However if they heard it from somebody else, then that means that someone is stalking me.  

I start to hear hordes of footsteps and chatting, coming all from the hallway outside of the bathroom.  I stand still in the bathroom stall, listening with a blank expression to the loud sounds of the ignorant people, that are in for a show.  I wait patiently for the kids to walk by and into the cafeteria so then I wont be interrupted or caught before I even do the deed.  If someone caught me, I would never hear the end of it from my dad.  Finally the sound fades away and every one has taken their seats, I take a deep breath and check the gun.  I think deeply for a second because even thoe I have already decided to kill my self, I should at least allow myself to think a bit.  I cant say that I know how dieing is however I can explain how wasting away is worse.  Every day and every second you feel like you cant move on, yes I can put on a smile and act happy.  However deep down inside im broken and im not going to be getting help for my problems any time soon.  Living in this vast world of wonder can not be experienced alone, a life alone is not a life I am willing to lead.  I really wish that things were different however every individual has their own destiny in life and it just so happens that i'm destined to die here.  The pros of dieing in my situation is limited because dead or alive, I still feel the same. However when i'm dead I won't have to worry about all the bullshit.  The negative is that i'm going to be alone so much more and I wont be able to even really talk to anyone.

I finally decide that its time to go through it as I open the stall door holding the gun in my sweaty hand.  I walk out and notice my self in the mirror.  Their in the reflection of the mirror is a tired, torn and broken kid that has been raped, bullied and shot.  Its such a tragedy to see such a sight and thought of myself.  I walk out of the bathroom holding the gun to my right and the suicide note in the left.  I rush with tears falling down my eyes into the cafeteria where nobody notices me but the D.I.X. Rocky and grace look over with a shocked expression and burst up in a panicked motion that causes Kitty to leap up too.  I walk over to a table and take a chair where I drag it to the center of the cafeteria.  “Gage don't do it!” Grace and Rocky say as they glide closer to me however step back when they get to close.  “Gage take it easy you deserve better than this…” Kitty says in a soft and concerned voice.  Ever since now I never seen Kitty show this much emotion.  “The only thing I deserve is death…” I say to kitty as I point the gun upwards under my chin.

Every kid in the cafeteria is now looking over at me which makes me feel insecure.  I thowe the suicide note down on the ground in front of me and I close my eyes while taking a deep breath.  Just then I hear a similar voice in the distance “Stop!Wait!” Its ash.  Ash comes running in however not quick enough to stop me.  “So long and good night...”

*Bang*

I fall weightlessly from the chair and onto the ground where my blood flows from my head.  Just like when I got shot sound starts to drift away however this time quicker.  I can still some what see however my vision is starting to fade away.  Just like I predicted I don't feel a thing but for the comfort of silence.  Life goes very quickly if you really think about and life can slip away in a blink of an eye.  Death is peaceful as you slowly drift away however I can see how boring and lonely one could get.  Soon the lights fade away and don't come back.  I can no longer see anything but for the vast emptiness of the darkness.  I think back to what Bayne said “...we could be dead and they wouldnt even think twice…” I wonder if that is true.  I also start to wonder if any one would be at my funeral or if their would even be a funeral.  Doesnt matter though, there's no turning back now and I can finally rest in my silences and comfort of my death.  All I can think in my mind is one thought and one thought only, ‘If only I was good enough and strong enough for the other, than this tragedy could of been avoided’. Well now my destiny is fulfilled and my story ends here. ‘So long and good night, make sure to stay beautiful and keep it ugly. see you around...’

-End...