It’s exactly 1:11 at night and I just got home from the nightmare that I wished never happened. My dad didn't comment on how late I came home, didn't even think twice when he saw me come in. I also find it really hard to believe that he still cares because if I seen my son come home with blood red eyes and a fucking bloody bandage over his stomach, I would be much more dramatic than his ignorance. I'm lying in my bed now, in pain both physically and emotionally, drowning in my thoughts of the past. I can't out the voices inside my head that continuously whisper, “...It’s your fault…” My mind is so tainted and focused on the situation that I can no longer feel anything. I never thought I would say this but I wish I could cry a bit more, so then I can still feel human. However it’s hard because there's nothing human about this whole fucking situation.
Besides all the voices in my head, the room actually seems very quiet and peaceful. I have the lights on so then I can't fall asleep and I can't hear anyone else shooting at me or yelling at me. I know it’s best if I get some sleep after all this mess however knowing that my normal nightmares scare me. I would be even more terrified if I had to sleep on this disaster.
I start to think about everything that has happened in the past hellish day. Getting choked in the bathroom, Bayne cheating, getting shot, Ash dying and ontop of it all is my home life. I only really see my father since my mother died from an overdose of painkillers, it was just three years ago. She was really nice, it’s such a tragedy that she had to put up with Dad all these years. I always have thoughts of killing myself however I always had something to hang on to. Bayne saved my life a bunch of times and it’s hard to believe that he would do such a bizarre thing. However this time Bayne is not here and I don't really have any reason to be alive at this very second. It’s all starting to add up now, I think I finally see my purpose on this earth, it’s hard to think about however I know it’s right. Since everything has been piling and piling up, I finally see the solution to the equation. It’s my time to go my separate way and split off into the next life that honestly won't be any different. I don’t deserve to breathe the air as the normal people do, I deserve to die. If people really want me dead that bad then, I will give them a show tomorrow…
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50 Shades of Bane- A Tragedy
RomancePrying from the cold arms of yesterday and waking to the days of truth that makes up our every hour, our every second. One question may never have one answer for has the definition of Love change though opinions and stories. Humans have many ways...
