Dragonflies

CHAPTER 12

There are times in our lives that we look for something deliberately and grow tired of the search when it isn't found. Later, we might decide that it doesn't exist or that it is lost beyond the pursuit. But then, one fine day it falls right in to your lap without even calling out for it. And when you have it right there with you, you don't know what exactly you should do with it. That is what happens with love most of the times. It gets found at the most unlikely times in the most unexpected ways. Leaving you confused about how to deal with it. And by the time you figure it out, it might have vanished.

"I loved the book." I told Aylan.

"What book?" he was perplexed.

"The Forty Rules of Love."

"Oh great! I am happy that you liked it. So, what were the forty rules?" He asked.

"I don't remember all of them. But in the book, Shams of Tabris says something that struck me. It was something like this,'If you haven't changed before and after you loved, then you haven't loved enough.' I feel it is true, that love is powerful enough to change someone inside out."

"I don't know. Have you ever felt that? The change within yourself after loving someone?"

"Yes, I have. I was a different person before I fell in love with you. A lot different from who I am now." I said.

"I don't know if I will ever change. But I really don't want to." He told me.

"It will happen when it happens. Even if you want it or not."

"But I am in love with you now. Yet, I am the same." He pointed out.

"That's why Shams says, 'you haven't loved enough.'"

Saying that made a pinch of pain flash through my heart.

"Maybe.", was all he said.

......................................................................

I was heading towards the final semester of my college. It had been nearly a year since Aylan happened in my life. A lot of things came and went. But he stayed. The gap between us was reducing at a faster pace. But it didn't mean anything. Someday we had to part ways. That was when it happened.

"Aylan, I have something to tell you." I told him.

"Okay. I am all ears." He said.

"This is something to talk about in person. Can you come and meet me at the park tomorrow?" I asked.

"Sure. I will be there by 5 in the evening." He agreed. "I also had something to tell you." He added.

"What is it?" I felt anxious.

"I guess I will say it in person too. Afterall, we are meeting tomorrow. I can hold it for a while." He said.

"This is not fair." I was annoyed.

"Have patience girl!" he chuckled.

Aylan kept his promise. He was waiting for me under the large banyan tree. The park was deserted. A mild breeze whistled around us. The sky was grey and orangeyellow. Aylan's hair looked golden in the sun. 'This might be the last time I will ever see him.' Someone inside my heart told me. I have always counted all our meetings as last times. Yet, each one only led to many more. But this one really felt as if this was it.

"Hey." He waved at me.

"Hey you." I waved back with a smile.

"So, what is it that my sweet heart has to tell me?" he asked.

"You are being exceptionally sweet today." I pointed out.

"I just felt in the mood. Anyway, tell me, is it something serious?" he was worried.

"Hmm." I didn't know how I should put it. It was as if all the words had betrayed me. Aylan waited for me to continue. His eyes were fixed on my face. Suddenly it felt so hard to look at him. So, I looked away and said, "I am getting married."

"What?" Aylan was shocked.

"You heard me. I am getting married Aylan." I told him.

"Look at me. If this is some joke you are playing on me, then you are dead." He was agitated.

I turned my face towards him but looked down. "I am serious. My parents have found a guy for me. They came to see me yesterday. He liked me. Both the families approved."

"What about your approval? Did you like him?" he asked.

"He seemed like a nice guy. Has a good job. Family is nice." I said.

"So, is this you want? Get married to some random guy?" he lifted my head up.

"What I want doesn't matter here. It never did. Besides, I will have to get married someday. Maybe this is the guy." I sighed. I could feel my words getting stuck at the base of my throat.

"Will you be happy with him? Will you be able to live your life the way you always wanted?" he asked.

"I don't know, Aylan. I seriously don't. Not everyone gets a life they wish for. I have to take my chances." My voice was feeble.

"Then what about us? Me?"

"What about you Aylan? You don't want me. We can't be together forever. You said it yourself." My eyes flooded.

"What if I do?" The question echoed in my head.

'Is this what he had to tell me? Is he really considering spending the rest of his life with me? What about his dreams? Why did he change his mind suddenly?' A million questions exploded in my mind.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"What if I am ready to take you as my wife. Sorry, wife doesn't sound nice from my mouth. I am ready to take you as my partner, for the rest of my life." He said. "But my parents have already decided. They are planning to get me married soon. What should I tell them?" I finished in a fuss.

"Tell them that you don't want this guy and you have someone else in your life. I will talk to your dad. If they want, I will ask my parents to come over and talk." He said as if it was no big deal.

The tears in my eyes gave way to a small laughter.

"Who are you? What did you do with my Aylan?" I pulled his collar dramatically. Aylan laughed with me and held me tighter in his arms. As if he never planned to let go. 'I guess fairy tales could happen after all.'

"So, when are you going to tell them?" he asked.

"Not today. I just need to think through thoroughly, what to tell and what not to tell." I sighed.