words i didn't say|| cmb

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Niara's Pov

I've been at the hospital for 2 days but in a few minutes, i finally get to leave. All the boys came home to make sure i was okay, but Corbyn hasn't left the hospital since he got here.

"Ok are you sure you have everything?" Corbyn asked, holding my bag.

"Yes Corbyn i have everything" i laughed kissing his cheek.

As we gathered all my things and headed out to the reception, i was all ready to go in no longer than 3 minutes.

"Corbyn you look so tired" I said as we got into the car.

"No i'm fine baby don't worry"

"Corbyn you haven't left the hospital in 2 days, that's not fine" I replied, as he put his hand on my thigh. 

"I'm just worried about you Ni, we still haven't talked about what you did"

"Corbyn i'll talk when i'm ready ok?" I snapped.

"Yeah of course baby"

We drove home in silence, with music softly playing in the background. I can tell he's so worried about me, he has barely slept or eaten.

As soon as i walked in the door of the house, Zach was standing there waiting for me. He ran up and hugged me so tight.

"I know i saw you yesterday but i'm so happy your okay" He said.

"Guys it's not a big deal it's not like anything serious happened to me" i said, putting my bags down.

"Me and you both know it's deeper than that Ni" Corbyn replied quietly.

After greeting everyone at the house, i decided to go up to Corbyn's room for a bit.

I just layed on his bed, looking at all the scars on my wrist. If i could take back what i did, i would. I didn't think everyone would find out about it. The last thing i want is for the attention to be on me, and for the boys to not be on tour.

For some reason, even with the boys all here, that feeling is still here. I still don't feel like myself. The doctors suggested i go to therapy twice a week, but i declined the offer.

Im quite independent and i can take care of myself, that will just draw more attention.

"Hey can i come in?" Corbyn asked, opening the door.

"Corb it's your room you don't have to ask"
i laughed.

He sat down on the bed, and just cuddled me.

"Corbyn?"  I asked quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry"

"You have nothing to be sorry for baby" He replied, stroking my hair.

"Corbyn you shouldn't be here, you should be on tour with the other boys. I hate that you all had to come home just to see if i'm ok. I'm fine and as much as i don't want you to, i think you should go back"

"Niara you don't have to lie to me" He replied, sighing.

"What do you mean?"

"You said your fine. I know your not"

I guess we're really doing this.

"If your ready, and only if your ready, i'll listen to whatever you want to say, for hours if you need me to" Corbyn added, putting my hair behind my ear.

I sat up and took a deep breath.

⚠️"Well i'll just start by saying this isn't the first time i've been in hospital from self harm. Just over a year ago, i was in hospital, for attempted od. 2 years ago i was in for the same thing as this week. It's like a feeling inside of me telling me i'm not good enough or i'm not loved and it's like the voices in my head telling me i have to cut myself or i don't deserve to be here. It just gets worse at times and that's what happened this week. But whenever i'm with you, that feeling just disappears. Your my anchor"⚠️

I had tears running down my face, and i could see Corbyn's eyes watering.

"Woah i've never said that to anyone" I chuckled.

"I'm so happy that you trust me enough to share that with me Ni. I'm so so sorry that you have been through that because you deserve the world and more. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you always have me. If you ever want professional help, come to me and i'll make it happen in less than a day" Corbyn replied, wiping a few tears from his eye.

I just smiled and hugged him. He hugged me so tight, as a few more tears fell from my eyes.

"Now that you've told me a secret, i want to tell you one" He replied, pulling away from the hug.

"Go ahead" i said, smiling.

"I love you"

Oh my god. My two hands flew to my mouth.

"For real?" i asked.

"Yes Niara, i am completely and totally in love with you" He smiled.

"I love you too bean"

He leaned in and crashed his lips onto mine. After having such a hard last few weeks, him saying those 3 words suddenly made all of my problems disappear.

A/N
AHHH they finally dropped the L bomb.
i started school today so if updates are not every night i'm very sorry but i will try!!