Paper Clips and Yoghurt Lids - The Official Diary of Pam Beesly

January 21, 2004

6:35pm

GOOD EVENING, DIARY! I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU!!!!!

Sorry for yelling, diary. I just REALLY need to get things off my chest! Thank goodness for paper. Working at Dunder Mifflin has made me SO MUCH more grateful and supportive of the gift that paper brings.

The meeting went for almost three hours, and that was because we had SO. MANY. QUESTIONS!! I'm so glad that mostly everyone is on the same page, at least for now :)

Roy is off sick today, so I went alone to work. On my way to the elevator, I bumped into Jim, who had just left his car.

 I greeted him with a weird hand gesture sort of like a wave but as if I was wiping a window.                He did a totally normal wave back, his face blank and expressionless. We didn't speak.

For some weird reason, neither of us moved when the doors opened, leaving the elevator doors to close. This elevator was so slow it meant that we had to wait for another two minutes until it opened again! 

Which meant another two minutes of awkwardness. I don't think it was because Jim was still mad at me. It was because we had seldom been alone together like this before. If we were ever in the elevator, Roy was there with us, chattering loudly with the other warehouse guys.

We couldn't help but look at one another.

 I blushed...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Thinking about it now makes me wanna scream.

Breaking the silence, I blurted out, "Um, are you mad at me or are you staying quiet just for funzies?" Also, I dunno why I said funzies. I haven't said "funzies" since third grade, when I bumped into my then-crush in my class, Carl, my face flushed with embarrassment. Jim must have been VERY confused.

A slow smile spread across Jim's face. "Maybe fifty percent mad, Beesly, but fifty percent of me is putting on my best poker face just for you." 

"Oh, stop, you know I didn't mean it!" I giggled as I playfully slapped his satchel. 

Jim pretended to look upset. "Hey! This bag is not used for funzies! This is a very delicate bag from Walmart!" he joked, but he was laughing :) Then he slapped my bag.

OMIGOD!!!!!!!! Were we flirting? :0 :0 

We never had one-on-one time like this before, fooling around while slapping each other's bags...

Then we heard the doors open and immediately stopped what we were doing, embarrassed, but we knew the person had already seen us :0 :0 :0

A tall unknown man stood next to us and chuckled. "Two lovebirds, I see! What a great sight!"

It was SO AWKWARD! I'm CRINGING as I write this. This man thought we were a COUPLE! Jim nor I knew what to say. We just stood there, humiliated by what had just happened.

And you just won't believe what happened NEXT, diary. It got completely WORSE from here, no joke :(

Jim spoke up, "We're not togeth..." then I cut in and said, "No, what Jim means is..."                       (Ugh, why did I say that?) and then Jim said, "Pam didn't mean it like that, she's engaged..." then I said, "We were just..." and Jim cut me off and said, "We were just..." 

This made it sound EXACTLY like we were in a relationship and trying to cover it up. Did this mean that we TOTALLY looked like lovers in front of strangers? NOT a good sign :(

The man laughed again. It was a nice laugh, not a rude one. Laughing seemed to be his nature, like he worked in the comedy industry or something. "I know. You don't have to explain it to me, I get it. This must be the only fun that you get to have in this office day in and day out."

He was a few inches shorter than Jim. He was slightly balding and looked to be around his late forties or early fifties. He was dressed quite casual, in a burgundy crewneck sweater and beige cargo pants. He was wearing navy rimmed glasses.

"Yeah," Jim grinned, slightly less tense than before. "Mostly. But I think its gonna change once the documentary people come and film us."

"What documentary?" asked the man, raising an eyebrow. I dunno why, but it sort of seemed forced. Timely. I SWEAR I saw him about to smile but then he covered it with a cough.

"Documentary, you say? Is this a remake of The Office? Tell me more about it."

Jim instantly loosened up to this guy. It doesn't matter who you are, Jim can always talk to you like he's known you forever. Which is why it seems like Jim and I are together even though we are NOT. It's this warm fuzzy feeling that you get when you are with him, similar to charisma.  And he obviously does not mean to intend to do it. It's in his nature. 

Jim said, "Man, it's like, so screwed up. I mean, ever since Michael told us the news, that some film company had reached out to him and asked our branch to be filmed for an adaptation of The Office, I knew that this was not gonna work. It's never gonna get picked up and be as good as the original. Whoever thought this could be made possible in the first place is a complete asshole, and it's gonna cause nothing but shame and embarrassment for us. Damn, I didn't even introduce myself! How rude! I'm Jim Halpert, by the way." 

Poor Jim didn't know who he was talking to.

The man extended a hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Jim. I'm Greg Daniels, showrunner and creator of The American Office, here today to explain everything at Michael's meeting. Thanks for your VERY kind words regarding my show!"

OH. MY. GOD. DIARY.