Paper Clips and Yoghurt Lids - The Official Diary of Pam Beesly

March 2, 2004

9:13pm

Today I filmed my talking heads, diary! ALL of it. Here's a photo of me awkwardly laughing and crying just before the final take because I was so exhausted and relieved. It was around 6pm when we finally wrapped up.

I didn't have to say much, which was another bonus. The crew didn't ask me too many personal questions.

I got to watch myself speak on camera for the first time!!!!! :0 :0 They took a photo of me, so here's a photo above of me awkwardly laughing for no reason at all... I'm sure they cut this bit out. Or did they? I hope they did.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It was so cringy, I can't! But apparently I was really good?

I managed not to puke. Maybe 'cos I haven't been eating much this past week.

I know, I know, I should be eating, and its not like I have an eating disorder or anything, I've just TEMPORARILY lost my appetite due to stress and working. I'm so focused on my work and not screwing up that lunch is usually the LAST thing on my mind. And its not just ME! Kevin doesn't eat as many burgers anymore and the only meal I've seen Michael eat in the break room nowadays is quinoa with kale, carrots, goat's cheese and cashew nuts. Since when has Michael become a health nut all of a sudden?

It just shows that we are all feeling the same way. If our pilot gets picked up by NBC, there will be more opportunities for the viewers to observe us and what we eat. It adds on to the extra pressure of being on TV :)

I have never wanted to swap careers with Roy until now. Just so I don't have to do this talking heads. Roy and the warehouse guys aren't gonna be interviewed. At all. Not even after this pilot.

Jealousy! :( :(

To get me in the talking heads zone (I was the second one to speak, after Jim!), Ken Kwapis, the director, asked me some warm-up questions for me to ease up to him before the camera started rolling. Ken is beyond kind. He never pressured me to answer a question extra-confidently and with elegance as if I had been doing this all my life. Obviously, I hadn't.

He asked about my family, where I grew up, what motivates me to get up in the morning, my spirit animal, my favorite yogurt flavor. Basic topics that are enough for me to break out of my shell.

I elaborated on the yoghurt flavor for some reason, but stopped myself. Until Ken urged me to say more.

I told him that I always have a tub of yoghurt next to my desk every day, always the same flavor. Mixed berry. I mentioned that Jim is the only one who knows that mixed berry is my favorite :) I will never forget it, it was when I first met him. He walked up to my desk and told me that my mixed berry yoghurt had expired :)

It is a lovely story, but I wasn't sure if that was even worth noting for a documentary. I could just imagine the viewers, no forget me worrying about what the viewers think. I bet the NBC execs, who were gonna see this first, are gonna think, This girl's priorities are exactly what she looks like. And I can't blame them if that happens :(

But Ken and Brian loved the story! Ken told me that Jim had said my favorite yoghurt flavor, among other stats that he knew about us from working in the office for so long.

Now it made sense! How dare he, I joked. Then I added "He's onto me".

Something about Jim's comment makes me feel giddy inside. I don't know, but it's a nice feeling :) I wonder what other stuff he's mentioned about me...I cannot wait to watch the pilot and if it happens, future episodes where he talks about me :) And about other people at Dunder Mifflin, of course! I'm not trying to be specific...I'm just interested in hearing about people's perspectives. It was certainly cool to watch in The Office.

This setting really worked out and after ten minutes, most of the tension between us had dissipated, thankfully. Ken asked me if I was ready for the camera to begin start rolling. A unique quality that I immediately appreciated. I had watched clips of directors just telling the actor that the camera was about to roll without prepping them whatsoever. But Ken took the time to ask.

Then he said something else that blew me away and now I like him 100 times more.